Having friends guy friends can get complicated fast, especially considering our instinct is to flirt with and pursue each other. Many would insist that men and women can totally have a platonic friendship without sexual tension — or sex, period — getting in the way, but I have to call BS. It may work for a while, but in my opinion, male/female friendships will end in disaster more often than not. Here’s why:
- Someone Will Eventually Catch Feelings. It’s inevitable that either you or your guy friend will succumb to catching feelings. It might be right from the beginning or it could develop over time. The closeness of your friendship will be misconstrued with romantic feelings that’ll screw both of you over. The feelings may be temporary, come at the wrong time, or they might last forever and that means someone will get hurt. When you’re hurt, you remember the person who did it and it sucks. You will continue to associate that person with pain, so having a friendship will be nearly impossible.
- Our Minds Are Hardwired To Have Some Degree Of Attraction To The Opposite Sex. It’s in our genetic makeup to be sexually attracted to the opposite sex — if we’re straight, that is. Our first subconscious reaction when seeing a guy is gauging his physical appearance and how attracted we are attracted to them. For me, I know within a few seconds whether I want to get his attention and engage in conversation. That’s just how it goes.
- Having A Best Friend of The Opposite Sex Hinders Relationships With Our Significant Others. Jealously is a tricky feeling and it can destroy any kind of friendship or relationship. When you decide to introduce your boyfriend to your guy best friend, jealousy can rear its ugly head — and the reverse is certainly true too. Imagine meeting your boyfriend’s best friend and it happens to be a girl. That has fighting and breakup written all over it. Even if your guy is 100 percent confident in your relationship, it can still take its toll.
- Someone always gets the wrong idea. Guys’ brains are hardwired to think about sex basically 24 hours a day. If a girl gives them attention, many immediately assume the girl wants to sleep with them and they’ll relate everything she does to sex, even if there’s nothing sexual about it. Meanwhile, a girl will underestimate a guy’s feelings for her. She’ll become naïve and interpret his gestures as friendly. It’s basically a disaster waiting to happen.
- Alcohol Can Blur Your Friendship Lines. Getting drunk with your guy best friend has warning labels written all over it. When we get drunk, our intentions and limits become blurrier and we make choices we wouldn’t if we were sober. We see our guy friends as a potential hookup and regret it the next day when the alcohol has left our systems. Once that happens, the next interaction between you two might be awkward and ruin the friendship.
- Caring Sometimes Gets Confused With Romantic Feelings. When our best friends come to us for a shoulder to cry on, we’re always there for them. We take the time to give advice, console and make them feel better. They’re vulnerable, and when our guy friends are in that state, they can confuse our compassion for feelings. This’ll lead to uncomfortable conversations and perhaps some unwanted advances. Totally not worth it.
- The Friend’s Zone Is A Real And Terrifying Place For Guys. The “friend zone” is pretty much an internationally known term by now. It didn’t take long for guys to start questioning their position in their girl friend’s life rather than just accepting and appreciating their friendship. No one wants to see the girl they might have feelings for dating another guy. Most guys will be there for their girl friends because they think they might get laid. No matter how “cool” with your boyfriend they seem, they’ll be happy to swoop in should things go south.
- People will constantly ask you why you’re not dating, which might make you wonder the same. Everyone and their mothers will continuously ask if the two of you are dating and tell you what an amazing couple you’d be. Friends and potential hookups will automatically assume you’re at least sleeping together, even though you’ve both denied it countless times. It’ll become annoying and you’ll start resenting the friendship… or wondering why you don’t just get together since everyone thinks you are already. Bad news.
- If You Do start Dating, It Could Potentially Kill Your Friendship. If the feelings are mutual and you both decide to pursue a relationship, it’ll go one of two ways: you’ll either end up living happily ever after together (not likely) or you’ll ruin your friendship. Relationships can be great when they start from friendships, but they often don’t work out. Is it worth the risk? I don’t think so.