Guys, Here’s How To Turn Off A Strong, Independent, Badass Woman

Strong, badass women are a difficult bunch. We’re not difficult to handle but difficult to please because our expectations for ourselves and for others are so damn high, which is a good thing! But because of these expectations, we can be turned off on a dime. Here are 11 of those things that will have us recoiling and ultimately walking, er, running away.

  1. Someone who’s perpetually indecisive It’s one thing to be occasionally indecisive, especially in a world where we constantly have decisions tossed at us, but to always be indecisive is another thing altogether. People who can’t make decisions for themselves and their life get bogged down in one place and end up going nowhere. It’s as though they get stuck in a swamp of unmade decisions. This is something for which a strong, badass woman has little tolerance.
  2. Someone who has zero confidence Confidence isn’t just sexy, it’s necessary for life. If you want to get anything, you need to have the confidence to do so. When people are confident, they know their worth and they fight for themselves to make sure they get what they know they deserve. Zero confidence, at least for a strong, badass woman, is one of the ugliest traits a person can have.
  3. Someone who’s weak Well, naturally, for someone so strong, weakness would be a major turn-off, but there’s more to it than that. It’s not just about crumbling when things become too difficult but being weak in character too. There are so many ways in which someone can be weak and all of them are unacceptable to a strong, badass woman.
  4. Someone with no ambition To not have ambition is to basically be dead, and who in their right mind wants to spend time with a corpse? While a strong, badass woman might not need our partner to be the most ambitious person in the world, we do want them to have at least some ambition—and not for our satisfaction, but for theirs.
  5. Someone who lacks gumption Someone with gumption doesn’t just have ambition but takes the initiative to make things happen, and usually creatively so. Similar to confidence, gumption is sexy AF and those who don’t have it are the kinds of people with whom a strong, badass won’t waste our time.
  6. Someone who doesn’t stand by their principles We all have principles and we should never stray from them (unless, of course, they’re sexist, homophobic, classist, close-minded, etc.). Having principles and sticking to them is a true testament to how strong someone is, in both character and spirit, as well as proof that they can’t be deterred, even by the masses— something that’s exceedingly appealing to a strong, badass woman.
  7. Someone who has no lust for life What’s the point of being alive if you have no lust for life? The world is so big and life is so short, that to not crave to know it all, to taste as much of it as possible is pretty much a boner-killer in the eyes of a strong, badass woman. We have a lust for every aspect of life and because of this, it’s important that we surround ourselves with people who feel the same.
  8. Someone who has no passion Although one doesn’t have to have passion for everything to turn on a strong, badass woman, they should have at least passion for something. Passion for music, for art, for literature, for nature, for food, for good wine, for sex, for something—a strong, badass woman couldn’t possibly have much in common with someone who has no passion.
  9. Someone who gives up easily Life is hard. Life is one curveball after another thrown at us. Since this is the case, in order to get through life, we can’t give up. We need to either dodge those curve balls or throw them right back from where they came. Giving up isn’t an option in life. If someone really wants to turn off a strong, badass woman, then giving up is the easiest way to do that.
  10. Someone with no convictions Like principles, we should all have convictions. We should all have a set of firmly held beliefs that, like principles, we stand by. But to be a person who doesn’t have any convictions is to also be a person without principles—and a person that a strong, badass woman would rather scoff at than waste our time in getting to know.
  11. Someone who takes a backseat to their life If you’re not in the driver’s seat of your life, then exactly what are you doing? Letting someone else cart you around while you look at the window, merely a passenger in your own life? That isn’t just depressing, but pathetic. Someone who sits in the driver’s seat of their life has life by the ovaries. They know who they are and what they want. They’re also the exact type of person a strong, badass woman wants in our lives so we can both sit in the driver’s seats of our perspective cars and never miss a single experience.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.