To All the Guys Who Hit It & Quit It

You go out and act like you’re looking for a relationship. You’ll even take a girl on a date and make her think that this little arrangement is actually headed somewhere, towards something real. But, despite what you tell her, it’s only headed to one place — the bedroom. WTF is wrong with you? I’ve fallen for this one too many times and I’m sick of it.

  1. Sex isn’t everything. There’s more to life than just trying to find a good lay on any given night. There’s more to relationships than what happens in the bedroom. Is that really the life you want to lead? One where sex is the be all of everything? If sex is what’s most important to you then you don’t have enough to offer me.
  2. Plenty of women are looking for just sex too. So stop going after the women who are looking for more than that — the ones who are trying our hardest to find love. Some women want just sex and if that’s what you want too, then why manipulate those of us who make it clear from the beginning that we want more? There’s something seriously wrong with you.
  3. You’re missing out on everything a real relationship has to offer. Have you ever even been in love? That’s not likely because if you had, you wouldn’t treat it so carelessly. You’d know that love is worth fighting for. Sex can give you satisfaction for a few minutes but relationships can fulfill you for a lifetime. At the end of the day, if you’re not open to love, then you’re really missing out.
  4. Women aren’t objects to use to your advantage. Women are more than just warm bodies. We deserve your respect, not your manipulation. We weren’t put on this earth to fulfill your selfish needs. We’re more than sexual objects. We’re human beings, so start treating us like people, not toys. We deserve better from guys.
  5. At this rate, all you’ll ever be is alone. Have you even thought about the possibility of growing old alone? Your friends will find love and get married while you live out your bachelor life way past its expiration date. The party only lasts so long. Soon enough you’ll be too old for regular sexual conquests and then what will you have? Nothing.
  6. You’re the pathetic one here. Not the women you play. Trying to find love is noble; using love as a ploy to find sex is just plain sad. Is that really the type of “man” you want to be? Is tricking girls into thinking you love us really the only way you kind find sex? Sounds like a pretty pathetic game, don’t you think?
  7. Grow up. It’s time for you to be a man and finally leave your immature games behind you. Boys play games; men find love. You’re too old to still be tricking women into getting into bed with you. Grow up and actually communicate with the women you date (or try to sleep with). It’s really the least you could do.
  8. If you’re only interested in sex, we deserve to know. Why not be upfront about your intentions? We live in a world where plenty of people are into casual sex. Hookup culture is rampant, so tell us your intentions from day one. That way, we can either choose to participate in something casual or you can move on to a woman who wants what you want — just sex.
  9. Being a player doesn’t make you a man’s man. If you’re just trying to impress your bros, there’s nothing manly about your game. Having a long list of sexual partners doesn’t make you any better than anyone else and if those sexual partners believed you were falling for them, it makes you pretty terrible. If you really want to be a “man,” try falling in love. That’s a hell of a lot harder than falling into bed.
  10. At the end of the day, you’re just plain selfish. Do you even care about any of the heartbroken women you leave behind? You can’t say it’s our own fault and that we should have seen the red flags. All we did was believe the best in you and all you did was give us the very worst of you. Maybe you’re not cut out for the game of love after all because real love would never be that selfish.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.
close-link
close-link
close-link
close-link