Dudes, listen up — sometimes you act like losers when it comes to hitting on us. Too many of you infuse way too many sexual remarks into conversation as a means of flirting, and not only does it not work, it kinda grosses us out. Those initial interactions set the tone for what it’d be like to date you, and if you’re talking about sex from the get-go, you’re only going to come off as a creep. Here are some pointers for those of you who need it:
- Compliment more than just our physical assets. We don’t need your admiration of our tits and ass (at least not yet) — instead, tell us you like how we’re wearing our hair or that we have beautiful eyes. It’s seriously that simple to change how we perceive you.
- Pay attention to the details. Women find it incredibly sexy when a man pays attention and notices the little details about us. Remembering that we grew up close to your hometown or that we majored in the same thing in college shows us you actually give a crap about who we are, not just what we’d be like to sleep with.
- Engage our intelligence. There’s nothing more flattering than being complimented for something that has nothing to do with the way we look. That you notice our intelligence and want to engage with some deep and meaningful conversation about topics that pique both of our interests will get you in our good books way more quickly than asking if our boobs are real or whatever.
- Appreciate how hard we work. While we all like to feel hot, we also like to be appreciated for things other than how good we look in a v-neck shirt. Show some appreciation for how badass we are in our careers or whatever else we spend our time on.
- If we’re not strangers, make subtle physical contact. You should never touch us if we’ve just met, but if we’ve been chatting a while and you’re being a gentleman, this is one kind of physical contact we’ll probably be into. The way you touch us, guide us by the small of our backs and hold our hands in the car is always a sweet way to show us you care about us without actually saying anything.
- Ask us thoughtful questions about ourselves. Actual interest in knowing who we are and what makes us tick shows us you’re interested just as much as complimenting our looks does. Ask us about our childhood or the last vacation we took — show some real interest. If we know you give a crap about us as women and not just sleeping with us, we’ll be more likely to do the latter eventually.
- Act like you’re a grown man, not a pubescent teenager. Look, you’re a grown-ass man and realistically, you should be acting like it. High school is over and you may have been able to get away with this stuff back then, but it’s time to grow up. Otherwise, you just sound like every other catcalling guy we’ve been putting up with for years. You can pay a woman a compliment without making it sexual, and you should if you want us to look at you as a man worth having.
