Guys, Here’s How You Know You’re Amazing In Bed

I’d be lying if I said I’ve never faked an orgasm but sadly, many women have. The truth is it’s pretty damn obvious when you’ve just sent me into another dimension of pleasure. If any of these things happen, it was a job well done.

  1. I had to bite my damn pillow. It may not be the cutest action in the world, but if the only way I kept from waking the entire friggin’ block with my response was clamping down on my pillow, you were doing something right. Hell, I might have to throw the pillow case straight into the laundry because it’s covered in my slobber, which means you should be seriously impressed with yourself.
  2. We’re both pissed my roommate was home. Living in a two bedroom apartment is great news for my wallet but it can put a damper on my sex life. Chances are I tried to bribe my roommate into being out of the house, but if they were there, we probably both spent the past hour or more secretly (or not so secretly) cursing the lack of privacy. That’s how you know what we were doing was rated the best kind of “R.”
  3. I’m starving. It’s not just guys who get hungry after sex. If I’m running for the kitchen and stuffing my face with whatever I can find it’s because we worked up an appetite. If I eat you out of house and home and then go sprinting back to the bedroom for more, you’re clearly a god in the sheets.
  4. I can’t stop smiling. If we hooked up more than 30 seconds ago and I still have a goofy grin plastered on my face, that means it’s genuine. I can fake a smile but I can’t fake a beam. My orgasms send me into a wave of contentment way beyond my normal positivity. When I’m beaming and blushing and flustered minutes or even hours after we were together, you know it was amazing.
  5. I keep covering my face with the covers. For some reason, I get super embarrassed after I come. Maybe it’s because I’m appalled by the noises I made (even though I know you loved it), or maybe it’s because I suddenly feel like a teenager sneaking around and I forget that at my age sex is totally normal. Either way, when I’m super satisfied, I bury myself in my covers. If I’ve made a little cocoon and am refusing to come out, consider whatever you did a success.
  6. We’re giggling like we’re in high school. Like I said, I revert to being a teen and I love it. My favorite activity after fooling around is a whole lot of giggles followed by a whole lot of cuddles. Cracking jokes afterward just shows how comfortable I am, and comfort is everything when it comes to me being able to let myself go, in every sense.
  7. I was screaming your name. I can’t control what comes out of my mouth when I’m riding high on the path to ecstasy. If your name came out in the midst of the “don’t stop!”s and whatever else I was slurring and saying, you know you’ll be one I’ll remember. The list of people who have made that happen is a short one, so if you’re on it, be proud.
  8. My body is still shaking. Sometimes it takes my body a full 5 minutes to calm down after the best of the best when it comes to orgasms. If I’m still tingly or can’t stand up and can’t walk straight, it means you hit the right kind of home run. Not many people have taken that victory lap, so nice work.
  9. I can’t keep from talking about it. I’m all for giving a confidence boost when it’s due, so I won’t be shy about telling you how amazing it is if it was in fact amazing. I’m going to tell you about that amazing thing you did with your tongue, how good it felt when you pulled my hair, and probably send a recap dirty text later that night.
  10. I let you take control. I normally like to call the shots in the bedroom, so if I’m letting you do your thing, it’s because I know that you’re going to make it worth it for me. I’m trusting you with the most personal thing I have, my entire body and mind, so don’t take that lightly. If I’m willing to let you take the lead, that’s how you know you’re doing everything right.
  11. I immediately want to do it again. I may not be one of those girls who can go over and over without any break, but if you were that good, I’m going to want to try anyway. If I’m hinting at round two or three before turning over and passing out, then you have made it into my book of greats.
We only have one chance to live this life and I'm making the most of it. I'll make plenty of mistakes along the way but each one will send me further down the right path.