First dates can be downright painful. It’s awkward enough trying to get know someone new and figure out if we have any real chemistry, but nine times out of 10, we realize quickly that the guy we’re sitting across from isn’t necessarily on the same page as we are — in fact, half the time, he’s not even in the same book (and he doesn’t seem to care about it). Ugh. Guys, if you plan to take us out, please come prepared to do these things too:
- Know what you want. You should probably know what you want BEFORE you ask us out. There’s nothing more annoying than a guy who goes back and forth. One day you want a relationship and the next you want to keep things casual because you’re not quite ready to give up the single life. That’s BS. If you’re not sure where you stand on the relationship spectrum, do a little soul searching and figure it out before starting anything sith us. Don’t be the jerk who intentionally leads us on because you can’t get your act together.
- Be upfront. If you’re just looking for someone to hook up with every weekend, let us know. If you’d like to casually date but know you don’t want to be in an exclusive relationship, speak up. Don’t beat around the bush and play games. You’d be surprised how many of us appreciate that kind of honesty and will be way more likely to indulge you if you just say what you want instead of BS’ing us about it.
- Have a little confidence. Maybe you’re a little shy, and that’s okay. Maybe you’re insecure because you don’t look like Channing Tatum, but who cares? We don’t want or expect that, so don’t worry about it. What makes you attractive is how comfortable you are with yourself. Trust us — women are way more receptive to guys with confidence. Buff as hell bodies are great to look at, but looks are far from everything and we’d much prefer you focus on not being a total loser. Kindness is the hottest quality of all.
- Actually date us instead of just “hanging out.” Netflix and chill is fine, but definitely not for a first date. Stop trying to keep everything so casual! You want to impress us, right? Plan a real date — one that requires some actual effort. It’s great that you can afford a Netflix account and know how to microwave popcorn, but come on. The purpose of dating is to get to know one another and establish a real connection, so plan a thoughtful date that will let us know you want that. Hanging out on your couch isn’t the kind of intimacy we need right now. Save that for the committed relationship.
- Keep us in mind. Know the person you’re going out with! I can’t emphasize this enough. Understanding who we are and what we like will make the dating experience that much better. In case you didn’t know, not all girls are the same. Some girls want first dates to be casual, and there are others who expect a full production. Knowing a little bit about us will allow you to plan something that’ll be fun for both of us.
- Clean yourself up a bit. First dates are all about first impressions! Get your hair cut, shave that almost beard, maybe even iron your clothes — do whatever you need to do in order to look presentable! We’re not saying you should pretend to be something you’re not. If you’re more of a casual dresser, don’t show up in a Ralph Lauren suit. Be true to yourself, but make sure you put some pride into what you look like — it’ll go a long way.
- Keep it comfortable. Some girls want a guy to make the plans. If that’s the case, make sure you plan something we’ll both enjoy. No, that doesn’t mean going to the sports bar by your house. Dating can be redundant, and women appreciate a guy who surprises us with something a little different. Do something you’ve never done before, but make sure it’s not too out of your element… or ours. We both need to be comfortable. If we’re not, there probably won’t be a follow-up.
- Don’t forget your manners. If we look nice, tell us — make us feel special! Don’t be the guy who’s “too cool” to treat a girl right. Pull our chairs out, hold our hands and at least offer to pay the bill (though we’ll likely want to go dutch). Contrary to popular belief, every girl doesn’t want to date a loser — some of us want a nice guy. Channel your inner Prince Charming and be the guy we’ve been waiting for.
- Pay attention and take a real interest in us. When you’re on a date, make sure we’re the center of attention. Take a genuine interest in what we have to say. Don’t ask a question, only to ignore the response because you’re too busy staring at your phone. PUT THE PHONE DOWN! Actually, just turn the phone off. There’s nothing more disrespectful than someone constantly checking their phone on a first date, or any date for that matter. Snapchat will be there when your date’s over, okay?
- If it goes well, make follow-up plans and keep them. Before you two go your separate ways, make plans for a second date! Guys, don’t say “I’ll talk to you later” — no one knows what “later” means. Be a gentleman and make concrete plans! If you really want to impress us, text/call right after the date ends or later that night. “Had a great time tonight, what are you doing tomorrow?” This text will literally make our day, and you’ll get major brownie points! It’s not too much to ask if you’re interested.
