Guys Who Ignore My Texts Even Though They’re Online Make Me Insane

One of my dating pet peeves is when a guy is online and know I can see him but he still doesn’t think he should reply to the text I sent him hours ago. What’s up with that? It’s so obnoxious!

  1. It’s really insulting. Hello, dude! I can see that you’re online on Facebook or WhatsApp right now but you STILL haven’t read the text I sent you hours ago—or worse, you have seen it and are just ignoring it. Dealing with this isn’t just confusing, it’s insulting. It’s like the guy thinks I’m too stupid to notice that he’s actually totally blowing me off.
  2. He obviously doesn’t care about me at all. The guy’s acting like he doesn’t GAF that I can see him online. Who does he think he is? Isn’t he at least a little embarrassed? If it were me, I’d quickly go text him to show him that I’m not ignoring him but he doesn’t pay me the same courtesy. It’s like he doesn’t care about my feelings, which is pretty upsetting.
  3. It literally takes two seconds to reply to a message. I’m not asking the guy to write me a novel, he just has to take a few seconds to reply to my message. Even if he’s just letting me know he’s busy or will get back to me later, a little common courtesy would go a long way.
  4. I’ve asked a direct question, so what gives? I’ve made an effort to ask the guy a direct question, just like we’re always advised to do. It shouldn’t be vague and there has to be a question mark at the end so he knows to answer it. I do that and then he still doesn’t answer me? Damn, it’s infuriating.
  5. It turns me into a stalker. I can’t help it, being ignored on social media or via text regularly by a guy makes me want to hang around online more to see just how long the jerk’s going to chat to other people while ignoring me. Sometimes, I want him to notice that I’m online. I want to see if it’ll change his behavior and make him get his act together. Ugh, I just waste time and data on a guy who doesn’t deserve it.
  6. I worry that I’ve done something wrong. If I send a text and the guy doesn’t answer me but he’s chatting online with other people, I can’t help but worry that my message was inappropriate. Did I say something wrong? Was I insulting without realizing it? Is that why he’s ignoring me? I hate that I start pinning the blame on myself when really it’s all about him.
  7. The most maddening thing is when he lies. Maybe we were texting for a while and then he tells me that he’s exhausted and is heading to bed… but then he hangs out on social media afterward for hours. WTF? Look, I don’t care if he was going online after talking to me, but why does he have to lie about going to bed? Now he’s made it a thing when it wasn’t one! Ugh.
  8. Is he hoping I’ll avoid social media? Is he hoping that by saying goodnight, I won’t go online to check my Facebook and see him there? When these seemingly senseless things happen, it really makes me wonder if he’s up to no good, like speaking to other women he’s dating behind my back or something.
  9. I can’t even tell myself he’s busy. It’s a blessing when I don’t follow a guy on social media so I can’t tell if he’s online or not. That way, if he doesn’t reply to my text, I can lie to myself by saying he’s probably busy at work or something. Now I can’t even say that to make myself feel better because I know the truth: he just doesn’t want to talk to me.
  10. It’s the equivalent of him turning his back on me. Ignoring my text while being online would be like a guy turning his back on me when I approach him in person so that he can chat to other people and completely ignore me. Wow, how rude! What I don’t understand is why doing this is OK in the virtual space. Just because he can’t see me, it doesn’t mean I’m not pissed off and hurt.
  11. Ignorance really was bliss. It was so much better when I didn’t know everything the guy was doing. All of this technology that’s supposed to make our lives easier is unnecessary TMI and it just makes me stress.
  12. By the time he finally gets in touch, I’m fuming. Instead of being happy to hear from him, I just want to wring his neck because he’s dished me the lame excuse about how he’s been “mad busy.” Yeah, right. Now I know he’s lying but I can’t say anything because he’ll think I’m needy and nuts. What am I supposed to say? “I saw you online so why couldn’t you send me a reply to my text, a-hole?” Yeah, he’ll come right over with a straight jacket.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.