There’s a new dating trend of late that doesn’t actually involve being asked out on a date. Instead, it consists of receiving a text in the middle of the week that says, “Let’s meet up this weekend!” Then there’s nothing but endless disappointment.
It’s like millennial guys have forgotten how to ask women out on dates. Gone are the days where you’d be asked several days in advance if you wanted to go out to dinner with a hot new romantic prospect and then mutually organize a time and place. Nowadays, it’s all about being hit up a couple of days before the weekend with a “let’s meet up at the weekend” and then no further effort.
Once you express interest, nothing happens. As soon as you say yes to his half-hearted invite, you inevitably start getting excited about the outfit you’re going to wear, the restaurant you want to go to, and/or the fact that you might get your first kiss in about a month (delete as applicable). However, all this initial excitement then amounts to nothing.
The guy won’t commit to a time and place. For some reason, you can never pin the guy in question down to a time and place. Every time you ask him, you’re met with an evasive answer like, “Oh, I’ll let you know.” But does he ever let you know? Do they heck.
You can’t even plan your schedule! Just because you have a free weekend doesn’t mean you don’t have other stuff to do. If you’re not a last minute person, waiting to make plans only makes you anxious. It also makes you question everything because surely if he’s super stoked about meeting up with you because he’s into you, he’d want to lock it down before either of you could change your mind? It makes no sense.
You’re left hanging and it’s humiliating. My life doesn’t involve sitting around waiting for a random guy. In fact, quite the opposite—I resent having to be on standby for a guy. This makes me frustrated with the guy in question before anything has even happened between us. It doesn’t exactly start a potential romance off on the right foot.
Nine times out of 10, he ends up canceling. The guy ends up acting so aloof, his texts slowly fizzle off, and even when you text him one last time to try and get some plans scheduled, he won’t reply until the very last minute. He then usually ends up texting you to cancel because “he feels ill” or “he’s got too much going on” or “he’s accidentally double-booked.” To be honest, it’s such BS.
It’s like they want to keep you as an option, but you’re not the main event. Essentially, if you were a priority to them, they would treat you like a priority. The fact that these types of guys don’t says it all, unfortunately. Thanks to the popularity of online dating and apps, it’s so much easier to meet people. This means that you meet more people in shorter time periods and can sometimes end up in a bit of queue with your Tinder dude. It hurts when you really like someone and seem to hit it off.
Honesty is everything. The best way to overcome this adversity is with honesty and transparency. People who treat other people this way should at least be direct and respectful. It’s not fair to waste someone’s time just because you haven’t made your own mind up.
I don’t understand why these types of guys reach out to you only to ultimately knock you back. It only plays with your emotions and makes you feel insecure. After all, it’s difficult not to look inward for the answer as to why he’s not rushing to ask you out to dinner. What’s wrong with me? He must not like me! I must have done something wrong, etc. However, try to remember that he’s the one who has the issue.
I have a “one strike and you’re out” rule now. To prevent dealing with these indecisive people in future, romantic prospects only have one shot with me. I can understand if a guy has a genuine reason for bailing on me, and I’ll give him a second chance if this is the case, but if he’s full of excuses all the time then he’s full of crap and I’m simply not going to waste my time. I deserve better than that.
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