12 Of Guys’ Most Common Deal Breakers, According To A Guy

It’s unlikely that one person’s entire personality can be completely negated by one bad trait, but humans are fickle creatures who tend to focus on what’s wrong with someone rather than what’s right. Guys can be a little shallow and easy to dismiss a potential partner because of something superficial and meaningless, but some of these are legitimate deal breakers.

  1. Flaking on plans Even if you’ve been dating a long time, asking someone out is still kind of a big deal. That means when we take that leap and make plans, we expect you to show up. Yes, sometimes last-minute emergencies pop up, but guys still get upset if you break our plans. When you do that, it’s like the trust is broken, and that’s a deal breaker for a lot of us.
  2. Talking about your ex We all have exes, but that doesn’t mean you have to talk about them with a new love interest. No guy is asking you on a date so he can hear you talk about some other guy. All you have to say is that you just got out of a relationship. We don’t need the details because there are a lot of things about your ex-boyfriend that we don’t want to know.
  3. Being passive-aggressive A lot of men are simple creatures in that we just want you to come out and say what you mean. We’re also notoriously bad mind readers. However, we can tell when you’re being passive-aggressive and we don’t like it. This may not be an instant deal breaker, but most guys aren’t going to stick around long if a woman is constantly acting in a passive-aggressive way.
  4. Meanness This may seem obvious but guys don’t want to hang around with a girl who’s super mean deep down. I’m sure you feel the same way about guys who are jerks. Thanks to the movies, most of us can spot the tell-tale signs of mean girls. If you’re rude and like talking trash about others, that’s a deal breaker and we guys going to bolt ASAP.
  5. Insecurity OK, so most guys aren’t going to dump you at the first sign of insecurity. We’re all human and guys get insecure too. But in the long run, being with a woman who lacks self-assurance can drive us nuts and push us away from the relationship. Ladies, if we’re going out with you, it means we like you, so please tone down the insecurity.
  6. Bad hygiene Naturally, this goes both ways. If you’re meeting someone for the first time, you should put some effort into the way you look and smell, right? I’m sure the same works for you ladies, but a woman with poor hygiene can be an instant deal breaker.
  7. Trying to be controlling Newsflash: dating someone doesn’t give you the right to control every aspect of their life. I mean, we already have mothers who try to do that. Some women (a small percentage) will try to dictate everything their partner does and every detail of their schedule. Then there’s the psychological manipulation that some ladies will try to pull. Stuff like that just isn’t going to fly with most guys.
  8. Being addicted to your phone I get it, it’s tough for everyone to put down our phones nowadays, but it’s seriously the most annoying thing about modern dating. To be fair, some men are guilty of this as well, but it seems to be extremely common among women. For most guys, this is a deal breaker that will send us packing.
  9. Being too loud I believe How I Met Your Mother referred to them as “woo girls.” Whatever you call them, girls who feel compelled to raise their voices for no reason are difficult to be around. If a woman is in constant need of a chill pill, it can be a deal breaker for a guy.
  10. Not having a sense of humor If you can’t laugh together, especially at the beginning, what’s the point in dating someone? Again, this goes both ways and applies to men who are uptight and have no sense of humor. I think we can all agree that people who refuse to laugh at anything should be certified “undatable.”
  11. Neediness Guys can usually spot a girl who’s overly needy or clingy. Admittedly, this doesn’t define a person. Some women can be downright wonderful people and a little too needy at the same time. But there are a lot of guys who will run in the other direction when they spot the signs of a needy girl. It’s just not something we want to put up with over the long haul.
  12. Sexual incompatibility As I mentioned, some of these deal breakers are a little shallow. Is it shallow to dump someone over something sexual? Maybe not. Long-term couples need to be a good fit for one another and if they share similar sex drive, likes and dislikes in the bedroom, and sexual openness, a lot of guys won’t see a future and will get out of the relationship right away. For the record, guys do care about things other than sex. But that doesn’t mean sex can’t be a dealbreaker sometimes.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.