Guys, This Is Not How You Set The Mood For Sex

So many guys are clueless when it comes to pre-gaming in the bedroom. Guys, if you’re doing any of these things to try to get your significant other in the mood, you need to change things up ASAP:

  1. Playing the wrong music Even if it’s your favorite music genre, it’s not going to help you set the mood. If it makes her think of going to the club, now’s not the time for it. The wrong music can be a serious libido-killer, so when in doubt, just eliminate the soundtrack to your sexcapades altogether.
  2. Leaving the TV on in the background  Were you really hoping to sneak a peak at the football scores while trying to score in the bedroom? Shame on you! Nothing kills the mood faster than not giving foreplay and sex your undivided attention. Switch that TV off right now. And while you’re at it, do the same to your cellphone and other gadgets.
  3. Using food to be sexy Yes, it might look hot to rub tasty treats like chocolate sauce onto each other’s bodies, but if she’s not in the mood for food, she’s just going to be annoyed that both she and the bed are covered in sticky goop. If you’re going to try this out, make sure you have a cleanup plan and her go-ahead before whipping out the whipped cream.
  4. Gifting her with the wrong lingerie Asking her to model some sexy lingerie is a turn-on, but only if you know her lingerie style really well. If you’ve got the wrong size or you’ve bought her something that makes her feel uncomfortable, you’ve instantly ruined the night.
  5. Demanding it Whoa, whatever happened to romance? If you act entitled to her body, her sex drive is going to dip into the negatives. She’s not a robot, and if you really want to sleep with her, not being a loser is the first step.
  6. Initiating sex after you’ve seen another hot woman You were taking a walk with your girlfriend when you spotted another sexy woman. She turned you on so much that you tried to get things started with your partner the moment you got home. She’s not clueless  — she knows that you were turned on by that other woman, and this is guaranteed to make her feel insulted.
  7. Getting wasted A drink or two can be nice to relax so you can get into the mood, but if you’re stumbling and slurring your words as you try to unhook her bra, you’re setting both of you up for disappointment. Drunk sex can be fun every now and then, but only if you know your limits.
  8. Putting on sex online without asking first Lots of women like to watch sex online but it’s really one of those things you should ask her about before you simply bring it to the bedroom. If she ends up not being comfortable with the idea, you might end up fighting instead of fornicating.
  9. Sending penis pictures Although your intentions were good, seeing pictures of your naked penis isn’t going to turn her on.  Be subtle. Words can be way more powerful than pictures, so if you’re hoping to have her turned on by the time she gets home from work, tell her what you’d like to do to her instead of Snapchatting her your junk. Being romantic is much more likely to help you set the mood from a distance.
  10. Introducing her to a weird sex toy Sex toys can be fun to spice up your sex life, but make sure that she’s into what you got her first. Giving her something that might double as a power tool mid-coitus might be something she’s into, but if she’s not, it can really kill the mood and even freak her out a bit.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.