Why Are Guys On Online Dating Sites Always Doing Obnoxious Crap?

Internet dating sites should be a single woman’s paradise, right? You’ve always been told there were lots of fish in the sea, but only after online dating became standard were they all at your fingertips and easily filterable. With a few clicks of your mouse, you see that there are literally thousands of guys just might be right for you, at least according to the all-knowing Interwebz.

  1. Maybe it’s time to start making that Pinterest wedding board? Well, maybe you should think again. Men on online dating sites have a strangely common characteristic of being completely and totally obnoxious, which manifests itself in the pretty ridiculous things that they do:
  2. Post pictures of themselves with a bunch of other girls. Let’s be honest.If you’ve really got beautiful girls fawning all over you, you wouldn’t be on this site in the first place. And if it’s because you’re trying to score someone to be part of your fantasy foursome, thanks but no thanks.
  3. Overuse Internet shorthand. Seriously, did somebody not tell these guys that “hi how r u” went out with AOL? Take a page out of their book and just respond to everything they write with “K lol!” until they get the message
  4. Ask you really “intelligent” questions in an attempt to show that they are *~*~DEEP and PROFOUND~*~*. The only thing that might be worse than starting out with “hey what’s up girl?” is starting out with “Tell me which 19th-century philosopher you can personally identify with most.” Sure, we get that it’s important to stand out, but really?
  5. Write to you first and then not write back after you reply. It’s like winking at you at the bar and then straight up ignoring you when you come over to say hi. What’s the deal with these ghosting guys.
  6. Message you back and forth for weeks but never actually ask you out. Um, hello? It’s called a dating site, not a chat room. The second you sign on, he’s there chatting you up, but he never makes a move to move the conversation offline and rebuffs all of your hints that you’re ready to do so. You’re supposed to be a potential girlfriend, not an online therapist.
  7. Expect you to carry the entire conversation. Sometimes it feels like they just expect you to entertain them. It’s frankly just exhausting.
  8. Conveniently not mention the fact that they have a girlfriend. If you find out and he tells you that it’s an open relationship, run away. Run far, far away.
  9. Write you off as a possible match because of something silly. You’re hitting it off, trading messages back and forth, until suddenly he tells you that he just doesn’t think you’re right for each other. He read through your profile again and he saw that you like a musician he can’t stand and he didn’t think you were “that girl.”
  10. Lie about their height. I still don’t get this. Don’t they realize that if they’re successful in courtship, we’re eventually going to figure it out? And when we do, the lie and lack of confidence is a bigger turn-off than the height (or lack thereof) ever would have been.

Not remember that they already wrote to you and you turned them down. Hi again, Douchebag88. No, I don’t want to Netflix and chill this month, either. But thanks for asking.

Jessica Levy is a freelance blogger and content writer. She’s also a politics junkie, a fledgling foodie, and a frequent traveler. She has lived in Morocco, Israel, India, and Barbados, and never wants to be cold again. Follow her on Twitter!