Guys seriously need to get it together. We know they probably have good intentions and don’t mean to be obnoxious, but there are some things they say to us that are seriously WTF. Whether they’re trying to calm us down, cheer us up or get out of trouble, they need to take these phrases out of their vocabulary:
He can say that it’s “not that big of a deal,” but that doesn’t make it true. We’re not overreacting, we’re simply reacting and they’re just pissed they didn’t get away with whatever stupid thing they were trying to do (or already did). Just because they don’t like to get called out for their BS doesn’t mean they get to put it on us.
“I don’t know.”
Well, could they figure it out? Why is it that whenever we ask them a real question, guys never have an answer? This isn’t a courtroom; they can’t plead the fifth. They don’t know how they feel or what they want or even where they were last night. “I don’t know” isn’t good enough, and if that’s their final answer then we should tell them what WE know, which is that the relationship is going nowhere.
“It didn’t mean anything.”
Being faithful in a relationship physically and emotionally doesn’t mean anything? It means everything. If we see their actions as a betrayal, it doesn’t make us feel better to know that they hurt us but that their actions “didn’t mean anything.” It meant something to us and if they can’t understand that then we can’t be with them.
“Don’t be so sensitive.”
We’re so sorry for having feelings. We’re so sorry we actually cared. It must be the fact that we’re women that makes us so damn sensitive. Can they detect the sarcasm here? Do they ever think about the possibility that we’re not being sensitive and maybe they’re being jerks? No, of course not, but it’s not too late to start.
“Can’t you just get over it?”
Can’t THEY just feel sorry about it for more than five seconds? Maybe we’re not over it because we don’t think they learned their lesson or because we’re still hurt and there’s no expiration date on feelings. We can’t get “over it” because we haven’t found a solution, and if that’s the attitude they’re going to take, then we never will.
“I’m just not ready for a relationship.”
Then what are we doing here? We made it pretty damn clear we’re looking for a real relationship and not interested in a purely physical relationship, so why are they wasting our time? They may not be ready for a relationship but we’re not willing to sit around waiting for them to change their mind. It’s all or nothing, so they’re either in or out.
How about they relax? There’s nothing that gets women angrier than a man telling us to “relax” about the situation at hand. We’re bent out of shape because of something THEY did, so instead of telling us to relax, why don’t they start explaining, apologizing, or at least taking a second to care?
We’re not their pets. They can’t control our emotions or tell us what to do. Telling us to calm down isn’t going to make us any calmer, especially when all we’re asking for is for them to care. If we’re fighting, we’re not always going to be able to remain calm. We have feelings and they need to be expressed, so at the very least, they could hear us out.
“You’re overthinking things.”
Men claim that they mean exactly what they say, but when you don’t say a whole lot, women are left to read between the lines. We’re not “overthinking things.” We’re filling in the blanks. Unless they can learn how to fully express themselves, what else are we supposed to do?
“You’re so high maintenance sometimes.”
It’s a thing guys say when they’re trying to get out of typical boyfriend duties or when they have zero patience. We’re not high maintenance just for expecting them to call when they say they will or because it takes us more than five minutes to get ready. If they want to date someone that will fit those standards, they’d be better off dating a guy.
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