If we took a poll, I bet the majority of heterosexual women would say that they’ve previously been with a guy who was like a closed book. You know the type—he initially seems interested but keeps going hot and cold more often than your home oven. More often than not, it’s because he can’t decide how he feels about you and that’s not cool.
- Being emotionally unavailable isn’t cool. If he’s being emotionally unavailable, refusing to tell you how he feels about you, or not acknowledging how you feel about him, this is the first sign that you might be in a one-sided relationship (or heading there fast). Don’t ignore it.
- A bit of mystery is okay, but not this much. Many women can’t resist a good mystery novel, but we wouldn’t want it to play out in real life under the title Unrequited Love. Right? Is he being super secretive about what he wants from the relationship? Does he avoid talking about the future or say “I don’t know” all the time as an answer to your questions? If so, this is a surefire indicator he doesn’t know how he feels. That’s always going to be upsetting when you’re crystal-clear on this matter.
- It shows immaturity. Not being upfront about emotions is a common trait of teenagers who don’t yet understand themselves, not full-grown men who should know by now what they want out of life. Newsflash: most guys who mess women around in this day and age do it because they don’t feel the same way about you and just don’t want to deal with the hassle of telling you (or don’t have the courage). In other words, they’ve got some serious growing up to do.
- It shows a lack of respect. Usually, a guy only disrespects you and your feelings in this type of scenario because he feels like he can get away with it. Sure, you have to give him the benefit of the doubt if he’s only communicated his confusion with regards to his feelings once. But if he keeps acting in a way that shows he doesn’t feel the same or avoiding future conversations about where you guys are heading, run away now.
- It shows selfishness. Guys stringing us along for their own gains when they know they’re not into a girl just isn’t acceptable (and by own gains, I mean sexual pleasure). Sure, we all have needs, but if he knows he’s not into you and you’re super into him, it’s just borderline mean to keep sleeping with you, right?
- If you wanted to play games, you would dig out your old Monopoly board. As we get older and start craving more serious relationships, women have less of a tolerance for guys who are still in the “game-playing” phase of life. We’ve been there, done there and got the t-shirt—and we don’t need another. If he knows his feelings don’t match yours and he’s not telling you, he’s clearly wasting your time and this just isn’t fair. Time is precious to us all.
- Sometimes it’s down to fear of commitment. There are some occasions in which guys take women for a ride because they actually really like them but they’re terrified of commitment based on the hurtful experiences they’ve had in the past. However, in this case, they should just communicate what’s going on.
- Women appreciate honesty. Even if a guy genuinely doesn’t know where he’s at with their feelings and needs time to help him decide, he should just tell you. Doing the opposite and expecting you to be a mind-reader while keeping you dangling there like a carrot isn’t appreciated. You’re a human being with feelings.
- You deserve to have your feelings reciprocated. At the end of the day, you don’t deserve one-sided love. You deserve to be with someone who respects you and your feelings and is just as nuts about you as you are about them. If the guy in question has had chance after chance and nothing is changing for the better, it’s time to cut your losses and move on to someone who’s more worthy of your time.