Guys, You Can Learn A Lot From Lesbian Sex

Guys, You Can Learn A Lot From Lesbian Sex ©iStock/Kladyk

A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that lesbian women orgasm more frequently than straight women: approximately 75 percent of the time, while straight women only reach orgasm 62 percent of the time (boo). That’s gotta mean something, right? Here’s what you can learn from girl-on-girl action to make sure your partner comes every time:

  1. It’s in your kiss. It’s often forgotten in the throes of passion, but kissing is crucial to keeping things hot. As women will tell you, it’s an intimate act that helps you and your sexual partner feel more connected. When you kiss during sex, you create more arousal and intensify your, and your partner’s, pleasure.
  2. Explore her body. Don’t limit yourself to the common erogenous zones on the female body. There are so many more pleasure-oozing areas than just her clitoris and neck. Lesbians would know more about this because they have the same bodies as their partners; plus, they take the time to explore each other’s. Erogenous zones also vary depending on the woman, so what worked for your ex won’t necessarily work for your current lover. See why you need to do some homework? Go on a treasure hunt of all your partner’s hot spots to make her shiver.
  3. It’s not just about penetration. Repeat after me: intercourse is not always the main event of sex. Remember that most women don’t even orgasm via penetration alone. A batch of 33 studies featured in the book The Case of the Female Orgasm by Elisabeth Lloyd found that only 25 percent of women regularly orgasm during intercourse, irrespective of how long the sex lasts. You need to take your time to turn her on in other ways — touching, rubbing, oral play, and so on.
  4. Take turns — don’t be selfish. Forget thinking that in lesbian sex one woman is the dominant, or male partner, and the other plays the female role. The truth is that it’s all about taking turns to satisfy each other. This is an important lesson for those selfish straight men out there.
  5. Enjoy the journey, not just the orgasm. One of the misconceptions many men have about sex is that it’s all about making women come, period. But that’s just one part of sex! If that’s all you’re focusing on, you’re not making the experience pleasurable for her in the least. How the hell is she supposed to orgasm?
  6. BYOT — bring your own toy. Just because you have a penis, it doesn’t mean that sex toys are beneath you. Lesbian women will use different ways to keep things exciting and they’re clearly onto something if they’re making each other come more than straight women who get the D.
  7. Don’t learn about sex from sex online websites. Please. Watching online sex is fun and could get you and your woman in the mood, but it’s not aimed at showing you how to please a woman. Rather, it’s about maximizing your own pleasure. If you’re relying on it for sexy tips and tricks to make the woman in your life feel satisfied, you’re totally disconnected from your RL partner and her specific needs.
  8. Make her feel sexy outside of the bedroom. What women know about themselves and other women is that they need to feel sexy, and not just when they’re about to have sex. So quit thinking that you only have to compliment her looks or tell her how much she turns you on the minute you enter the bedroom. That behavior should start way before then! Think of it as foreplay. If you make her feel good about herself and show her how much you’re into her, this can only translate into her having greater confidence in the sack and being more turned on, which is sure to please both of you.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.