We all know them—those people who seem to have a gaping hole where their self-awareness should be. You might spot them one-upping your achievements at work, dominating every conversation, or treating your problems like they’re mere inconveniences compared to their grand life challenges. While we try to maintain healthy relationships and boundaries, these self-absorbed people can test our patience in ways that make meditation seem like an extreme sport. Ready?
1. They’re Always Taking Selfies
You know, there’s something about seeing someone taking a million selfies in every possible angle and lighting, all while you’re just trying to sip your coffee in peace. Don’t get me wrong, we all love a good selfie now and then, but there’s a limit, right? When you’re out with friends or family, and someone’s more concerned about capturing the *perfect* shot of themselves rather than enjoying the moment, it can be downright frustrating. Plus, according to Psych Central, it can become addictive. It’s as if the world around them vanishes and they’re in their own little bubble of vanity. And let’s not even get started on those who make everyone else wait until they get the right shot before anyone can dig into their meal.
When every outing feels like a photoshoot, and you find yourself ducking out of the frame more times than you can count, it starts to get old quickly. You end up questioning whether they came out to spend time with you or just needed an extra pair of hands for their production. Perfect lighting, great angles, and endless retakes may be the goal, but it often comes at the expense of real-life connections and shared experiences. So next time someone wants to take “just one more,” perhaps remind them that memories are better captured with the mind than the camera.
2. They Only Speak To Complain
Every conversation with them feels like tuning into a radio station where the only program is “Everything Is Terrible, All The Time.” They have a talent for finding the cloud around every silver lining, transforming even the most positive situations into opportunities for grievance. You could be sharing news about winning the lottery, and they’d find a way to grumble about the tax implications or the burden of sudden wealth. They’ve developed an advanced degree in fault-finding, with a minor in criticism, and they practice their craft with religious dedication. Their complaints range from the temperature of their coffee to the fundamental unfairness of the universe itself.
What’s worse is their inability to recognize their role in perpetuating their own misery, coupled with their refusal to take any action to improve their situations. These professional victims are allergic to solutions and respond to any helpful suggestions with a rapid-fire list of reasons why nothing could possibly work. They seem to derive perverse satisfaction from their dissatisfaction, wearing their unhappiness like a badge of honor. Their constant negativity creates a toxic atmosphere that affects everyone around them, yet they remain oblivious to the impact of their behavior. The most ironic part is that they’ll often complain about how no one wants to spend time with them anymore, completely missing the connection.
3. They Don’t Listen, They Wait To Talk
Trying to have a conversation with these people is like talking to a sprinter waiting for the starting gun—they’re not really present, just coiled and ready to launch into their next story (the exact opposite of an active listener, according to Psychology Today). Their eyes glaze over while you’re speaking, clearly indicating that their mental energy is focused entirely on composing their next contribution rather than processing your words. They’ll wait for the smallest pause in your story and hijack the discussion with their tangentially related anecdote. You can practically see the wheels turning in their heads as they search for ways to redirect any topic back to their favorite subject: themselves.
These conversational steamrollers have elevated selective hearing to an art form, only catching keywords they can use as springboards for their own narratives. They’ll ask you questions but start talking again before you can finish answering, making it clear that the question was merely a formality rather than a genuine interest. Their conversations are less like dialogues and more like parallel monologues, with them starring in the lead role.
4. They Brag About “Cutting Out Negative People” (While Being The Negative Person)

Oh, the irony is thick enough to spread on toast when they start preaching about “removing toxic people” from their lives. They’ll post lengthy social media manifestos about their journey of “personal growth” and “boundary setting,” completely unaware of the fact that they’re the common denominator in all their dramatic fallouts. Their definition of “negative people” conveniently includes anyone who calls them out on their behavior, disagrees with them, or fails to provide the constant validation they crave. You’ve watched them cycle through friends faster than seasonal fashion trends, each time declaring that they’re “cleansing their life of negativity.”
They’ve masterfully crafted a narrative where they’re always the victim (also referred to as a “victim mentality,” as noted by Psych Central) of other people’s “negative energy,” while simultaneously spreading gossip, starting conflicts, and emotionally manipulating everyone around them. Their social media feeds are a carefully curated showcase of inspirational quotes about “choosing positivity” interspersed with passive-aggressive posts about unnamed individuals who have “shown their true colors.” They’ll proudly announce their latest friendship “purge” while remaining completely blind to the fact that people are actually choosing to distance themselves from them.
5. They Pretend To Be Experts
The walking Wikipedia entries have arrived, ready to dispense their questionable wisdom on every topic under the sun—and probably the sun itself, which they’ll explain to you in excruciating detail despite having never taken an astronomy class. These self-proclaimed polymaths can’t let a single conversation pass without showcasing their supposedly vast knowledge, even when it’s painfully obvious they’re pulling facts from thin air. You’ve watched them confidently explain complex topics to actual experts in those fields, completely unfazed by their own glaring inaccuracies. And they’ll always find a way to talk about themselves, which is a tell-tale sign of a “fake expert,” according to Forbes.
The most frustrating part is their absolute refusal to acknowledge when they’re wrong or out of their depth, instead doubling down with even more made-up details and irrelevant tangents. These know-it-alls have an uncanny ability to turn every discussion into a lecture, complete with condescending explanations of basic concepts everyone already understands. Their confidence in their own expertise seems to grow in inverse proportion to their actual knowledge of the subject. The performance they put on to avoid admitting they don’t know something would be impressive if it weren’t so exhausting.
6. They Act Entitled In Every Situation

They’ve got a real skill for making every situation about their convenience, comfort, and preferences, regardless of how it affects others around them. They’ll hold up entire lines while arguing with service workers about policies that have been clearly explained multiple times, convinced that rules are merely suggestions that shouldn’t apply to someone of their importance. Their demands often come wrapped in the phrase “Do you know who I am?”—a question that makes everyone within earshot cringe. You’ve witnessed them throw adult tantrums in public spaces when things don’t go exactly their way.
They tend to justify their behavior as simply “knowing their worth” or “standing up for themselves,” completely oblivious to the difference between self-respect and self-importance. They treat other people’s time, energy, and resources as if they’re unlimited commodities existing solely for their benefit. From parking spots to promotions, from restaurant reservations to relationship expectations, they genuinely believe that their mere presence is doing others a favor, and they expect to be treated accordingly. They can rewrite any situation where they don’t get their way as a personal attack or conspiracy against them.
7. They’re Constantly Flaking
The plans are set, the reservations are made, and you’ve arranged your entire schedule around this commitment—but deep down, you already know what’s coming. These people have turned last-minute bailing into a science. Their pattern is so predictable that you find yourself making backup plans whenever they’re involved, knowing there’s a high probability they’ll ghost you at the eleventh hour. You’ve watched them post social media updates from other events during times they claimed to be “too sick” to make your gathering, and they seem genuinely surprised when called out on their behavior.
The really annoying part is how they’ll throw a fit if someone cancels on them but see no issue with sending a casual text canceling plans minutes before they’re supposed to meet you. Their flakiness extends beyond social plans to work commitments, group projects, and even important life events, leaving a trail of disappointed people in their wake. When confronted about their behavior, they’ll defend themselves with practiced speeches about how “overwhelmed” they are, never acknowledging how their actions affect others. The cherry on top is their genuine confusion when people stop inviting them to things.
8. They Make Themselves The Center Of Every Conversation
Oh look, they’re drawing every discussion inexorably toward their favorite subject: themselves. These people possess an almost supernatural ability to transform any topic—from global politics to someone else’s wedding plans—into a story about their personal experiences, opinions, or random observations. You’ve watched them hijack birthday celebrations to talk about their own past birthdays, derail grief support conversations with tales of their minor inconveniences, and somehow turn discussions about current events into detailed accounts of their daily routines. Their conversational skills operate on a one-way street, with all traffic leading directly to their personal narrative.
These attention vampires can turn a simple group discussion into their personal Ted Talk, complete with unnecessary backstories and irrelevant tangents about their lives. Their self-centered narratives are so predictable that others have started taking bets on how quickly they’ll redirect any conversation to their own experiences. The concept of shared dialogue seems as foreign to them as other people existing.
9. They Minimize Your Problems
Nothing is more infuriating than sharing something vulnerable with a self-absorbed person, only to have them brush it off like it’s no big deal. You could be pouring your heart out about a tough situation, and they’ll respond with something like, “Oh, that’s nothing. You should hear what I’m going through.” It’s as if your struggles are insignificant compared to theirs, and they have no qualms about making that clear. This habit of minimizing your problems isn’t just dismissive—it’s downright invalidating. It sends the message that your feelings don’t matter and that their experiences are always more important.
Instead of offering empathy or support, they turn the conversation back to themselves, leaving you feeling unheard and unimportant. It’s a classic self-absorbed move that can make you question whether it’s even worth opening up to them at all. They’ll often use your vulnerability as a springboard to talk about their own issues, completely disregarding what you’ve shared. Over time, this can make you feel like your problems don’t deserve attention or care. It’s a frustrating and isolating experience that can leave you feeling even worse than before you shared.
10. They Steal Your Energy
Being around a self-absorbed person can feel like being stuck in a black hole. They have a way of sucking the energy out of any interaction, leaving you feeling depleted and frustrated. Whether it’s their endless monologues about their own life or their complete lack of interest in yours, they make every conversation about them. You walk away feeling like you’ve just provided a therapy session you didn’t sign up for (or get paid for). What makes it even worse is that they rarely, if ever, reciprocate. They’ll take and take, but when it comes to offering support or even a listening ear, they’re nowhere to be found.
This one-sided dynamic can leave you feeling resentful and emotionally exhausted. It’s like they’re wired to extract as much attention and validation as possible without giving anything back. Sooner or later, you might find yourself dreading interactions with them because you know you’ll end up feeling drained. They don’t seem to notice or care how their behavior affects others, which only adds to the frustration. Whether it’s in person, over text, or even on social media, their energy-sucking habits can make you want to distance yourself entirely. It’s a toxic cycle that leaves you wondering why you even bother engaging with them in the first place.
11. They Call The Shots
Self-absorbed people have a way of always needing to be in control, no matter the situation. Whether it’s deciding where to eat, what movie to watch, or even how a group project should be done, they insist on having the final say. It’s as if their opinion is the only one that matters, and everyone else’s preferences are just background noise. They’ll often steamroll over others’ ideas without a second thought, leaving you feeling like your input is irrelevant. This need to dominate every decision can be incredibly frustrating, especially when it happens repeatedly.
What’s worse is that they rarely notice or care how their behavior affects others. They’ll justify their actions by claiming they’re just “taking charge” or that they know best, but it’s really about feeding their own ego. This habit can make you feel like you’re just a side character in their story, with no real agency or voice. It’s exhausting to constantly bend to their will, and it can leave you wondering why you even bother participating. Their inability to share the spotlight or consider others’ perspectives is a glaring reminder of how self-centered they truly are.
12. They Fish for Compliments
Self-absorbed people turn every conversation into an opportunity for praise. They’ll drop not-so-subtle hints about their achievements, appearance, or talents, just waiting for you to shower them with compliments. For example, they might say something like, “Ugh, I look so awful today,” fully expecting you to respond with, “No, you look amazing!” It’s a manipulative tactic designed to feed their insatiable need for validation.
Not to mention, it’s so transparent. They’re not genuinely seeking your opinion—they’re fishing for admiration, and they won’t stop until they get it. This can feel incredibly draining as if every interaction is just another performance for their ego. They rarely reciprocate by complimenting you or showing genuine interest in your life. Instead, they’ll steer the conversation back to themselves, leaving you feeling like a supporting actor in their never-ending quest for attention. It’s a frustrating dynamic that can make you want to roll your eyes and walk away.