If I Hadn’t Spent So Long Being Single, I Never Would Have Accomplished These 10 Things

When you’re single for a few years straight, you’re bound to go through some rough patches. It’s often tough to be alone, but once you get used to it, you start to experience life in a unique and beautiful way. The single life isn’t always perfect, but this is why I now see it as a blessing rather than a curse:

  1. I empowered myself. I’m the only person I’ve received motivation from. I haven’t had a partner in my corner cheering me along, so instead, I’ve had to make and conquer goals for myself and by myself. Some people are only motivated by others, but I’ve learned that the best person who can support me is, well, me.
  2. I learned how to stand alone with pride. It used to be awkward AF to be on my own at social functions and parties, especially when I was surrounded by tons of couples. But now, I’ve gotten over it. Even if I’m in a relationship, I don’t need my boyfriend by my side every waking moment of my life. I take pride in the fact that I’m truly independent, and I’ve learned to be my own life of the party even if my partner isn’t with me.
  3. I got to know what I truly want in a guy. If I didn’t have the years of single-girl experiences that I’ve acquired, the jerks that I’ve dated wouldn’t have helped shape me into the person I am today. Now, I know exactly what to look for and what to avoid as I continue my search for love.
  4. I became closer to my family than ever before. I never truly appreciated my family life until I started to grow up, and these past few years of being single have given me the time to truly nurture those relationships. Not having a boyfriend has given me more time to focus on the people who have been with me since I was born, and now, I’ll never take them for granted again.
  5. I finally chased goals that I had only dreamed of. When I was going from relationship to relationship, focusing so heavily on finding love, my goals always seemed to simply be plans that may or may not come to fruition. When I took a step back from focusing on love and started embracing the single life, my dreams started to become a reality. I realized that sometimes, you need to make yourself the center of your attention in order to achieve everything you want.
  6. I became really strong. Being alone for a long-ass time really does make you step out of your comfort zone. Instead of finding solace in guys, I’ve spent a ton of nights alone. It was really hard at first, but over time, I’ve learned to love and find comfort in my own company. It’s not easy being a one-woman army, but because I actually took the time to get to know myself and figure out how to overcome the emotional hurdles life throws at me, I truly feel like I’ve become a powerful woman.
  7. I mastered the art of taking care of myself. I don’t care what anyone says: being a single AF adult is HARD at times. I had to rely on myself to get stuff done. I’ve been chasing goals, cooking actual grown-up meals and keeping an impeccably tidy home. Thankfully, all it took was the brutal shock of being truly alone for a long time to focus on mastering those skills, and I’m honestly proud of how well I’m bossing my life now.
  8. I stepped out of my comfort zone and lost my codependency. I used to think that having someone in my life was what defined me, but I’ve learned that being codependent on boyfriends and having someone else around all the time wasn’t doing me any favors. Being truly on my own has taught me that I don’t need someone to fill a space in my life. I’d rather wait for the right guy than waste time on men who aren’t worth my while.
  9. I started looking at relationships and love in a new way. Being alone has really made me think deeply about love, and I can now look at both past and future relationships in a new light.  I know that the love I’m willing to give to someone now is infinitely different than what I’ve experienced before. Now that I have a new perspective, I feel like I’ll be more prepared to be the best partner possible to the right guy when he comes along.
  10. I fell in love with myself. Even though I’ve gone through some rough times, I’m truly happy that things turned out the way that they did. Sure, I’ve spent a ton of time alone and without an external source of love in my life, but now, I’ve become my own source of care and compassion. I truly love the person I’ve become in my years of being single, and I know that no matter how long it takes to find the right man, I’ll be just fine loving myself until then.