This Is What Happens When Someone Cheats On You

When you’ve been cheated on and your ability trust feels like it’s been irreparably broken, the worst thing is knowing that you have to deal with all the emotional baggage the guy’s betrayal has left on your doorstep. You can work through the side effects and come out stronger, but these things are bound to happen along the way:

  1. You doubt yourself and your worth. There’s nothing like a bout of betrayal to make you turn inwards and wonder where you went wrong. You might worry that you’re not pretty or intelligent or creative or independent enough or that SOMETHING is wrong with you, but his cheating had nothing to do with you. What happened to you hasn’t changed the amazing person you are.
  2. You struggle to trust again. Once a man destroys your trust by cheating on you, you can’t help but be afraid that you won’t be able to find a trustworthy guy out there. It’s already hard enough to trust, but after being cheated on, that fear quadruples. The best thing is to realize is that you’ll trust yourself and your gut in future — that’s way more important than trusting anyone else.
  3. You find it harder to believe in lovePop goes your fairtytale bubble. So much for the great love that exists in the world; goodbye to your hope of finding Mr. Perfect, thanks to the bastard who broke your heart. It feels that bad, but it’s not really. He’ll never be able to bust your dreams of finding great love because he doesn’t control your destiny.
  4. You become more cynical. Of course, it’s only right that your battle scars are going to make you a little jaded the next time you get into a relationship, but that can be a good thing. It keeps you on your guard and makes you wiser about the kind of guy you get with. You also become like FBI, scrutinizing guys for any signs that they could cheat on you in future so you don’t get screwed again.
  5. You realize no guy is worth it. It’s crazy to think that the same guy who made you feel such bliss in your relationship can drag you to the depths of heartbreak. It hurts like hell but the pain you go through makes you see that no guy, however great he seems, is worth depending on for your happiness. If you create your own, you’ll never fall apart if the relationship does.
  6. You become a bit of a commitment-phobe. After being betrayed, you might shun commitment out of fear of getting hurt again for a while. Make sure you don’t allow that cheating bastard to make you afraid of commitment in the long-term because he doesn’t deserve to stop you from achieving future happiness.
  7. You think you have to change. Betrayal can make you take stock of your life and yourself. You might start to question if there are things about yourself that you should change before getting into your next relationship. You might think you have to change your appearance or your personality, but honestly, the only thing you should change is the type of guy you’re into. Don’t think that there was something wrong with you that made him cheat on you. He would’ve anyway.
  8. You learn it’s better to be alone. Being single is so much better than being with a crappy partner and getting cheated on is sure to make you see that. It’s empowering to know that you actually don’t need anyone and can make it on your own. It might take you a while to come to that conclusion but you’ll get there eventually.
  9. You realize the value of your BFFs. When you get betrayed by the man of your dreams, you turn to your BFFs, who are always there for you no matter what. You realize that they’ll always have your back, offer brilliant ideas for ex revenge (which you don’t need to follow through with) and show you that you don’t need a loser in your life because you’re strong AF. They remind you of the amazing person you are when you allow some crappy guy to make you forget it.
  10. You battle to let it go. After being treated so badly by a man you loved, you might become a bit obsessive about the horrible experience. This could include thinking lots about what he did or feeling bouts of rage every day, either towards him or yourself. Although it’s good to give yourself time to mourn the relationship and the trauma, remember that once you’ve learned from the experience, you have to let it go so it doesn’t bring you down. You’ve got too much good stuff to do in your life for that.
  11. You’re afraid to be happy. As if trusting in men again isn’t hard enough, betrayal also makes you afraid to be happy. You fear that the minute you allow yourself to feel love and happiness, you’re going to get your heart smashed again. But why should you let some jerk make you think that happiness can’t return to your life? He might have broken your heart, but honestly, you get the last laugh because while he’s screwing up his life by being a cheating jerk, you’ll be the happiest you’ve ever been without him.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.
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