Happy Endings Exist, But They’re Nothing Like Fairy Tales

Happy Endings Exist, But They’re Nothing Like Fairy Tales ©iStock/SandraKavas

If you have unrealistic expectations when it comes to dating, you’ll struggle to find true love. The only way you’ll find Mr. Right is to give up the idea of happy endings as they exist in fairy tales and start living in the real world. Here are 9 signs it’s time for a reality check:

  1. You have a checklist. Of qualities your future man needs to have, of course… which is ridiculous. You can’t paint a picture of the man you want to marry and shape him into who you want him to be. You need to love your man for who he is and find beauty in the flaws.
  2. You’re waiting for a big gesture. You know, like in the movies where a man gives it all up for love. Yeah, the odds of that happening are pretty low. Your boyfriend has probably already made some pretty epic gestures, but you were too busy living in a fantasy to appreciate them. 
  3. You pit men against each other. It’s common for women to fantasize about men defending our honor, but making enemies of the men in your life is childish. Instead of having two guys to fight over you, you’ll have none.
  4. You love drama. Conflict can be found in every relationship. If you’re feeding off the drama, it’s going to halt your relationship dead in its tracks. Creating fights just to have your man fight for you is insane. He’s not going to put up with it, and if you really loved him, why would you put him through it? 
  5. You’re superficial. You’re looking for a leading man — tall, tan, and handsome, with loads of money, to boot. But what about the supporting man? You know, the funny guy with the great personality? He may not be six feet tall, but if he can woo his way into your heart, then he deserves a chance.
  6. You compare fiction to reality. Hard truth — the characters of your favorite shows and movies aren’t real, so stop comparing the men in your life to them. Movies and shows all have endings. Your real life relationships keep going, so live in this world and not the one on screen.
  7. You make deadlines. Do you have a certain plan for your relationship? If you know exactly when you want to move in, get married, and have kids, you need to slow it down. Every relationship is different, and you need to go with the flow of your own. 
  8. You desire a changed man. You should never set out to find a man you can change. The movies are full of players who finally meet the right girl and settle down as the good guy. These are movies are fiction. Odds are, the player is just a player, and a guy that’s already good is waiting just around the corner.
  9. You think he can read your mind. You’re not going to finish each other’s sentences the second you meet. Getting in sync with your partner takes time. So don’t expect him to know what you’re thinking. You have to actually say it. Express your feelings, and a good man will act from there.

Remember that TV shows and movies are built from scripts written by a series of talented writers. You can write your own life, but you can’t write the role of your perfect man. Accept reality for what it is, and you may just find it’s a lot better than your fantasies.

Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.