I Was Happy On My Own But I’m Ecstatic Now That I’m In A Healthy Relationship

I’ve never believed that someone can (or should) complete you, but I feel like the right person can definitely make your life happier. I know because I’m dating an amazing guy who really loves me and has changed my life for the better in these 13 ways:

  1. My health’s better. When I was single and dating toxic guys, I was always anxious and stressed. The guy I’m with doesn’t give me any reason to feel worried or stressed out because he’s open about his feelings and consistent in how he loves me. That definitely helps to make me more zen, which is so much better for my health.
  2. I can trust fully for the first time in my life. I never managed to trust guys and this was exacerbated by loads of crappy dudes I let into my life. My current relationship isn’t riddled with doubts and my boyfriend doesn’t deal in mixed messages, which makes me feel that I can finally deal with my trust issues and put them to bed. This makes me a better person in general, and the bonus is that I’m not a crazy bitter GF.
  3. I’m not depressed. I used to feel down a lot in previous relationships, thinking I suffered from depression. The truth is that I was with guys who kept making me feel like crap! Perhaps because the guys were sucking me dry of my resources or just taking me for granted. Whatever the case, I can’t remember the last time I felt depressed in this relationship. It’s so much better for my emotional wellbeing.
  4. I know what true love is. I know it sounds corny, so apologies, but I finally know what real love is. It’s about being there for each other, uplifting each other, and having no ulterior motives. It’s just about loving each other in a pure, unselfish way. It’s really new for me!
  5. I don’t feel like we’re about to fall. If we have a fight, I don’t feel like we’re going to break up. If he doesn’t like what I think/say, I know we’re not going to end. Why? We’re not on a cliff-edge, ready to break apart at any second. We’re on solid ground, which really helps me to feel more secure. We’re here because we love each other and want to make this work.
  6. He gives as much as I do. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is not to end up with people who just take, take, take and never give in return. That’s a sure way to end up exhausted and heartbroken. With my boyfriend, we’re equals. We meet each other halfway and respect each other enough to both make an effort to keep each other happy.
  7. I feel alive. This relationship has definitely made me more aware of how beautiful life can be! This has also helped me to focus on my dreams and stay motivated. Being in a toxic relationship, on the other hand, just made me negative and lack energy. I couldn’t pursue my happiest life because the toxic relationship was destroying me.
  8. He’s got my backHe’s been there for me through the best times and darkest days. I know I can count on him and finally see how important it is to be with someone who’s unafraid to show support—and really mean it. This feels like a rare quality in a partner. Too many selfish AF people are out there!
  9. I’m doing new things. Since I started dating this guy, I’ve done new and exciting things, sometimes things I never imagined I’d be interested in doing, like going on hikes and watching live sports. Doing things, even small things, that feel out of my comfort zone has been great because it’s been fun and broadened my horizons.
  10. I’m more confident. A study found that self-esteem has an impact on our relationship satisfaction. If we feel bad about ourselves, we allow insecurities to crop up, and these influence how we interact with our partners. I’ve gained better self-esteem from my relationship. My partner loves me for who I am, not who I could be, which makes me love myself more than I used to. He reminds me of how worthy I am.
  11. I can be myself, warts and all. I feel really comfortable in our relationship, so I can just be who I am because I know my boyfriend loves me. In the past, I’d try to be a perfect person who had everything sorted, but that wasn’t the real me. I was trying to be loved for something I wasn’t. Now, I can be loved for all the “flaws” I possess!
  12. Boring things feel more exciting. It might sound weird to say this, but I’ve become more amped about silly, boring things than I used to be. That’s because my boyfriend makes every day feel exciting and it rocks to have someone to share my daily life with. So, whether we’re going grocery shopping, doing chores around the house or watching a ridiculous movie together, it feels like we’re having fun.
  13. I’m a more positive person. I used to be a bit too judgmental and cynical, largely thanks to really crappy relationships that were in my life. Since I’ve met my amazing boyfriend, I feel like he’s shown me that good things can happen. I’m not always expecting bad things to happen to me because he’s proof that life sometimes does feel like a fairytale. Okay, okay, I’ll stop being so soppy now.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.