My BF and I had been dating for about two years when we were invited on a weekend getaway with a couple we’d recently befriended. The trip started out great, but after witnessing our friends’ relationship up close and personal, I started to question if we were as happy together as I thought we were.
- She looked at him like he was the center of her universe. We decided to drive up to our weekend spot, a beach house that was about five hours away from the city. On our way there, I noticed the look that the girl would give her BF. Her eyes would soften every time she glanced in his direction. I knew that look—it’s the “I’m nuts about you” look. I used to have that look for my BF too, but that was a long time ago.
- They always seemed like they were having so much fun together. Sometimes you just can’t help but compare yourself to other couples, especially when you realize how much fun they’re having together and how much you’re not having with your own partner. We stopped at a roadside restaurant to grab some lunch and the guy literally carried his GF on his back from the car with his eyes closed while the GF directed him. He ran into a tree and then a pole and almost fell up the stairs but they managed to reach their destination, laughing hysterically the whole time. My BF and I followed, awkwardly smiling. He said they were nuts and I nodded in agreement, but I kinda wished we could be like that sometimes too.
- They still had “The Glow” that I’d lost a long time ago. Something happens to a woman’s skin when she’s happy, healthy, and in love. It starts with the sparkle in her eyes and makes its way to her whole being. I noticed this glow in our couple friends, especially in the girl. I realized that in comparison, I looked kind of miserable. I tried to console myself by remembering that I have a demanding job, but the truth is that I loved my job and that was no excuse. I realized later that I looked forward to heading to the office every day because I just wanted to get away from my BF.
- Unlike us, they loved spending time together. Our couple friends had been together for eight years and they still loved spending time together. Not ALL the time, of course (I appreciate a good balance between work, relationship, friends and solo time) but when they did spend time together, they were excited about it and always seemed to have an amazing time. They laughed and cracked jokes but also showed one another endless affection. It was like they weren’t just a couple but best friends too.
- They were truly in love with each other and it became clear that we weren’t. I cared about him deeply but after seeing our couple friends completely gaga over each other, I had to admit to myself that I’d fallen out of love. I’d told myself that we’d work it out and somehow discover that spark again and I was hesitant to give up because I knew he was the first guy I’d ever been with that I could trust. Being around two people who were clearly in love made it impossible for me to fool myself about the state of my own relationship any longer.
- They were always on the same page while we weren’t even in the same universe. My boyfriend and I are from very different backgrounds and I respect the difficulties he’d faced to get where he is in life now. Still, it was frustrating that I couldn’t talk to him about a lot of stuff because he simply didn’t get it. This became blatantly clear to me after playing a game with our friends. They were so in sync with the clues they were giving one another while we just crashed and burned. Besides the fact that I’m hectically competitive and didn’t appreciate losing so badly, I realized that we just didn’t get one another.
- They never wanted to be apart and I knew we needed a break. I broached the topic of a relationship break with my boyfriend after the weekend was over and wasn’t surprised when he agreed. I knew he wasn’t happy either. It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other but one sign that makes it clear that I wasn’t happy is that I don’t miss him. I mean, I love him but I don’t miss being with him. I know he was a safe and comfortable choice, but settling drained so much happiness from me and I believe now more than ever that I too deserve to be nuts about the guy I’m with.