10 Reasons It’s So Hard For Strong Women To Find Decent Partners

You’re smart, strong, and funny. You have your act together and you know that you’re a catch. So why can’t you find someone decent to date? Here are 10 things that could be going on.

  1. Guys are intimidated to you. It sounds trite, sure, but it might be true. When guys see that you’re so independent and don’t need them, this might make some actually keep their distance because they’re not sure how to deal with you. If they’re jerks, that could make them stand even further away because their lame dating tactics won’t work on you, like negging, which is so stupid. They’re doing you a favor.
  2. You can spot the BS from miles away. Being strong means that you don’t allow yourself to be in the same room as guys who have a lot of issues, like not being able to commit. You can smell that stench from a mile away, so you avoid it. The problem’s them, not you.
  3. You don’t actually need to find someone. Sure, it would be nice to date someone awesome, but you know in your heart that you don’t actually need to date. You’re sending out those signals and guys are reading them.
  4. The losers approach you. A weird thing sometimes happens when a woman is really beautiful or super-strong: the guys who approach her are actually the losers and jerks who are arrogant enough to think they have a shot with her. Sadly, these are the ones who approach you when you’re out on the town.
  5. You spot the red flags early on in dating. If you’re strong and single, chances are you’ve had some rough experiences that have toughened you up. In the dating game, this means that you’ve been dealt with some nasty red flags and you’ve learned what to spot so that you can get out before they become your problem, like a guy who’s not loyal to you.
  6. You’re a tad jaded. It probably feels like it’s so hard to find someone because it is. The more you stay away from the jerks, the more you realize just how many jerks there are out there. Sigh.
  7. You’re afraid to commit. Okay, so earlier we talked about how you might’ve gone through a lot. That can leave you feeling like dating is a disaster and like you don’t want to take a chance on anyone, even if the guy does seem like a catch. In other words, you’re afraid to give your heart to someone.
  8. You end up with man-children. When you’re strong and independent, you might attract people who are looking for someone to rescue them. It happens, and it can make you wonder where all the guys without a ton of issues have gone. The thing to remember is that you might be attracting those guys who waste your time and take advantage of you. This can be the case if…
  9. You’re a fixer. Some strong women end up being fixers. Since they have their shit together, they end up with guys who don’t – and they think they can change them so that they’ll become the perfect partner. Trying to fix your partner is disastrous, though. Just don’t do it.
  10. You’re settling. It’s weird but true: sometimes strong women end up settling. You might end up settling because you don’t think that you’ll meet a great catch. Maybe you think good guys are extinct, and no one could blame you. But the important thing is to remember that good people are still out there! Don’t settle for the ones who are wasting your time.
  11. Your dating requirements are way up there. Okay, so there’s nothing wrong with being fussy in the dating game. You deserve to find the best person who’s right for you. However, you might be focusing on qualities that don’t matter at all in a partner, like that he has to be a certain height or be super-handsome. While it’s assumed that not focusing on these qualities means you’re dropping your standards, you’re actually realizing what you really want. You’re focusing on what really matters when it comes to long-term relationship goals. FYI, not being obsessed with someone’s looks doesn’t mean that you’re missing out on chemistry. That’s a totally different thing.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.