This is the article that no one wants to read, much less to write. These emotional wounds run deep, and there’s always going to be a stage of grief following the breakdown of a relationship. However, it’s important to keep an open mind and a calm mindset when you start seeing signs that your partner is done with the relationship. Seeing the signs won’t stop the pain, but it can help you to prepare for it. So, be kind to yourself and get a glass of wine out. Here are the signs that your partner has lost interest and he’s done with the relationship.
- He stops texting you “good morning.” Now, I’m well aware that opinion differs as to the importance or otherwise of the morning texts. However, if it is made clear that it’s something you rely on or a small gesture that he knows you enjoy, and he stops that, take note. It won’t just be an accident or that he forgot. Not if he forgets a week in a row and acts pissy when you bring it up. If you’re communicating what you want as part of his partnership with you, and he dismisses that, it’s a clear sign that he has emotionally checked out. Talk to him about this if you’re getting worried, but remain calm.
- You start having to chase him. This is another big hitter. As soon as there’s any hint of reluctance or unwillingness in a relationship, you’re on the rocks. If you feel like you have to nag him like you’re his mother, stop and reflect on the situation. This isn’t the time to lie to yourself and convince yourself that you’re okay. If you start acting like you’re running a relay race where your paths constantly intersect but never align, you have to assume he’s doing that on purpose. It might not even be personal, but you have to acknowledge the signs.
- He stops planning dates. This isn’t a great sign. It makes you feel unwanted and unloved, and a general inconvenience to him to simply ask to hang out, get out of there. It shows that he doesn’t care about maintaining the standards of the relationship or keeping up pretenses. He doesn’t want to waste his time or money on you, and it’s sad. You can suggest your own dates by all means, but the writing is on the wall.
- You never talk anymore. Just think about that. This is the first thing that you demand of your significant other. They are meant to be the people that you confide your deepest secrets and biggest hopes and dreams. If they aren’t serving you emotionally, then they aren’t really there for you at all. This is where you find yourself ranting to your friends about him all the time. It’s an emotional drain and you deserve better than that.
- He hangs out with his friends all the time. Now, I will be the first to say that there’s nothing more important in a relationship than maintaining good relationships with your friends at the same time. That said, if he starts to avoid time with you under the guise of ‘cracking open a cold one with the boys’, you’ve lost him. He no longer values your time and he makes no bones about that.
- He starts working out. Maybe he gets a new haircut, to boot. Either way, if he starts taking care of his appearance out of the blue, he’s either cheating or done with you. You can split the difference. If he just hung around you all these months being lazy and unproductive and only now wants to change, he’s ushering in a new era. It’s no longer about you.
- He gets mean. Well, there’s no excuse for this one, friends. If he starts resorting to emotional warfare then clearly he’s a wasted case. He doesn’t value your mental wellbeing and he’s ready to risk it all. Get out while you still can, to be quite honest. You should always feel safe in a relationship.
- He makes you feel like shit. There’s no excuse here. I don’t care how unhappy he is or whatever emotional trauma he’s got to deal with. He’s an adult and he should be able to control himself and see that he’s hurting you.
Here you can see that I have little patience for guys who stay in a relationship long after they know that they aren’t invested anymore. If he’s in love with someone else, just trust your gut and move on as soon as you can.