Has He Fallen Out Of Love With You? 11 Subtle Signs

It hurts like hell to realize that the guy you’re crazy about has changed his mind about you but it happens—and it’s better to know that it’s happening ASAP so you don’t waste your feelings and time. Here are 11 signs he’s actually over you even though he’s still going through the motions.

  1. He doesn’t ask why you look sad. You show up to a date looking visibly angry or sad but he doesn’t even notice. Or, if he does notice, he doesn’t ask you what’s wrong. That’s shady, inconsiderate, and shows that he’s either stopped noticing you or he’s ignoring you.
  2. He’s more selfish. If your boyfriend has stopped compromising when it comes to what to do in your quality time together, it’s a sign he’s becoming more selfish. He’s choosing himself over you. He figures he can because he’s not into you anymore so he doesn’t risk your future together.
  3. He zones in on little things. He might get annoyed over the littlest thing like how you tell him a long story about something when he just wants you to give him the gist of it or how you take a bit longer to choose a table in a restaurant. If he’s noticing the small things he dislikes about you but can’t pinpoint the things he loves about you, there’s a problem.
  4. He’s quieter than usual. It’s normal for people to become a little quiet at times, but what isn’t normal is if your partner has become so secretive around you that you’d swear they were working for the CIA. If asking him a simple question like, “What did you do last night?” can’t give you a straight answer, then he’s clearly being secretive for a reason. He doesn’t want to keep you in the loop anymore.
  5. He compares you to his ex. During a fight, he tells you that his ex never used to get angry when he didn’t text her for two days so he can’t understand why you’re mad at him. Is there anything worse than being compared to other women? It doesn’t matter if it’s his ex, friend, co-worker, or mother, he shouldn’t be doing that. It’s a huge sign of disrespect.
  6. He invites you to group dates. Instead of having a one-on-one date, he invites you out with his buddies. While that can be fun sometimes, it’s not cool if it feels like you’re never getting that quality time for just the two of you. This is a convenient way for him to make you feel like you’re still going on dates when really he just wants a plus-one.
  7. He doesn’t share. You might have to see on social media how his first day at his new job went instead of hearing it from him. Or, you might have to find out how he’s feeling after a nasty bout of the flu from his best friend. That’s not OK. While the guy might tell you that he was just so sick or busy that he didn’t have time to share these details with you but he was going to, you shouldn’t believe it. He’s making it clear that he doesn’t want to share parts of his life with you and might even be keeping you a secret.
  8. The silences are awkward. There was a time when a bit of silence between you and your partner was OK, comfortable even, but now it feels like the silences are painful. If you find yourself always trying to fill in the blanks with interesting or funny conversation, ask yourself if he’s doing his bit to have good conversation with you. If not, then clearly he’s fine with things going south. Once communication flies out the window, everything else follows.
  9. He shoots down your affection. You reach over to give him a hug in public and he bats you away and laughs, or you try to kiss him and he dodges you. Uh, what? Although he might turn this into a joke, it’s not cool to feel like your attempts at affection are always getting shot down, whether you’re showing PDA or having quality time together in private.
  10. The sex feels different. While he might avoid your affection, he doesn’t mind having regular sex. Don’t let that fool you into thinking that it’s a sign everything’s fine in the relationship. If the sex just feels “off” or like there’s no emotion behind it, then he’s probably just having it with you because it’s convenient for him.
  11. He doesn’t give you “that look.” You know when someone’s so in love with you that they look at you like you’re made of magic? It’s an amazing look and it doesn’t require any words because you know that the guy’s smitten with you when he gives it to you. Although he might not give you that look all the time now that you’re settled into a LTR, it doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t still look at you with love, appreciation, and flirtatiousness. If you never really feel looked at or complimented by his gaze, it’s a huge red flag. The love is gone.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.