We’ve all been there: You text a guy you’ve been dating or just started talking to, and you get this absurdly long silence that drives you crazy. Seriously, how hard is it to respond to a text? You wonder: Did he read it? Is he just busy? Maybe he didn’t get it. Does he like me? Was it because I said I liked thin crust pizza? Maybe he’s a regular crust guy. Wait! Maybe he got into an accident. What if he’s in the hospital? I should for sure text again, right? Let me just ask my bestie- and then you send her a screenshot and before you know it, you’re completely losing your mind wondering why this guy is completely M.I.A. Stop. Breathe, and don’t send a letter more. Here’s what to do when a guy hasn’t texted you back, and what to keep in mind in the process.
Try not to obsess.
This part is hard, we get it but people do have lives, even if we think we should be a front runner of priority communication, some don’t really see it that way. There are so many variables that prevent someone from texting you back. Sometimes people are driving, with their family- who generally in this day and age, scold us for being on their phones too much, or are otherwise engaged in other activities; sports, movies, etc. Don’t assume the worst. The first step is to try and chill.
Keep yourself occupied.
Do something to distract yourself from your phone. Cook something, binge watch Netflix, make yourself a drink, go for a walk, call a friend and go for a coffee or read something — anything to get your mind off something. You have a life of your own you’ve been living just fine, so the lack of another human responding to you shouldn’t control or alter your regular routine.
Don’t fish for information.
It’s easy to feel like social media research and looking for clues as to what they’re up to or why they might not be responding to you might make you feel better, but don’t. Seriously, don’t. When have you ever looked for answers and gotten the one you wanted? Remain chill.
Start a new project.
We’ve all got a ton of those larger tasks that we put off like re-organizing your closet, or cleaning out your pantry. Here’s a perfect time to start. Not only will you keep distracted, but you’re also improving your space as well. De-cluttering doubles as brain therapy.
Don’t send follow ups.
If it’s been a while, like a day or days, don’t follow up, no matter how tempted you are. Don’t send “are you getting my messages?” or “what’s up with you?” because honestly, unless you’re in a relationship with this guy, he’s going to get turned off.
After a couple days, just forget him. No, seriously. Forget about him and move on. He may contact you again, and he may not. In the modern culture of dating, people go MIA all the time and even though it sucks, it is the norm now. He might have a legit excuse, or he might just be the type of jerk who can’t formulate a decent adult courtesy of letting you know what’s up. No contact or reply is a new way of saying “I’m not into you.”
Trust the process.
Guys will test you with the texting game, and make no mistake; it’s likely a game to see how you respond. If you follow the above, remain chill and keep living your life, when and if he does eventually get back to you, you shouldn’t be fazed. And if he doesn’t, well you’ve already completed the first steps towards moving on with your life, player free.
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