If You Hate Being Called A Player, Maybe It’s Because You Are One

If You Hate Being Called A Player, Maybe It’s Because You Are One ©iStock/Art-Of-Photo

Why do so many guys get riled up over the term “player”? Sure, it’s not really a compliment, but if it doesn’t apply to you, why is it so offensive? “Player” really shouldn’t bother you — and if it does, maybe it’s just because you are one.

  1. If it’s happening frequently, it’s probably a sign that you’re doing something to piss off a lot of people. When was the last time you’ve seen a girl call a guy a “player” to his face? Think about it. It probably hasn’t been for a while. Unless you roll with a particularly colorful crowd, it most likely doesn’t happen too often. If you’re being called a player on a regular basis, you’re probably making a pretty decent group of women angry. After all, most people who want to insult someone won’t do it to their face.
  2. Many decent guys don’t really even know what a player is, let alone the connotations that come with that title. Generally speaking, mature guys who have their minds solely on their studies or careers won’t be hip to the jive when it comes to slang terms. In other words, the guy reading Xenophon will most likely assume it means you want to sleep with him rather than think of it as an insult.
  3. Players are all about insecurity, so if it hurts you, you’re probably an insecure player. Real, confident people don’t feel the compulsion to play around, lie about your intentions, and manipulate people who would be good to them. When you act like a player, the most common reason why your behavior sucks is because you’re using women as a form of validation. When a girl calls you a worthless player, it’ll sting because she just took the validation you got and disintegrated it.
  4. Players also can’t take a joke. A lot of people who aren’t players would laugh it off. Just sayin.’
  5. If you’re feeling stung by words, it typically means that they’ve hit close to home. Generally speaking, the people who will feel most hurt by being called shallow, selfish, insecure twats are people who are shallow, selfish, insecure twats. No one feels comfortable when they’re called out on the crappy stuff they do. People who won’t feel hurt by being called a player are going to be baffled or amused, primarily because they don’t act like that.
  6. It also might hurt because you messed up your chances with a girl you actually do like. Here’s the funny thing that guys forget about girls: WE TALK. If you acted like a player with a girl’s friends, then tried to play the “good guy” with her, she might have dismissed you while calling you a player. When this happens, it definitely must hurt to have your own crappy behavior bite you in the ass. In these cases, even the most delusional of guys can’t deny that they deserve the title given to them.
  7. You’ve probably also realized that people worth a damn don’t want to be seen with you. It’s true! People who are intelligent, deep, caring individuals who work towards having a good life don’t want to have anything to do with players who have nothing to offer but sex and poorly worded text messages. It might not hurt at the moment, but when the full extent of what that means sinks in, it will sting — and it will sting badly.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.