Most people date because they want to find love; I date because I don’t want to end up old and lonely. You may think it’s a little over the top, but it’s a genuine concern of mine.
- Friendships fade away the older you get. For all our talk of girl power, there’s a distinct fading away of important friendships as we age, at least for most of us. Think about your closest college friends—you probably don’t talk to half of them anymore. The truth is that sustaining friendships takes a lot of effort. Imagine where you and your friends will be in 50 years. Most of them probably won’t be around for you to hang out with then. That’s where a husband comes in. It’s his job to be by your side for the rest of your life. Sounds a little extreme, but I prefer that to the alternative.
- Children grow up and move on. I thought of forgetting the husband thing and just having kids, but we’re all perfect examples of why that’s a bad insurance plan. We’re too busy trying to create the lives we want to make time for our parents. Besides, most parent-child relationships maintain the same dynamic throughout life. No one wants to be treated like a little kid when they’re in their forties! I know that my future children would want to move on, and I’d want them to. That would leave me lonely if I didn’t have a husband.
- It’s hard to adjust to new technology as you age. A lot of human connection relies on technology, especially these days. I don’t know what it’ll be like in 50 years, but I bet it will be way different. I see my grandparents and know how hard it is to adjust to the ever-changing gadgets and platforms that come out. I don’t want to be isolated, but I’m also aware that a steep price and learning curve comes with moving with the times. This is why I need someone with me all the time.
- Work gets harder as we get up in years. I’m a real career woman, but even I have to admit that I won’t be able to work forever. Who could? The world of business is always changing and keeping up with it is a young woman’s game. I’m not blind to the fact that one day, my skills will be outdated. That means that work and co-workers won’t be able to fill that void in my life. Then who will I have?
- Our bodies become less mobile. It doesn’t matter how fit you are—you won’t be able to do the things you do now forever. Hobbies and the social fun they bring will be discounted too. It seems like aging takes the pleasure out of everything, but I guess it’s the price we pay for youth. All I know is that if I’m going to deal with all of this, I need someone I love and trust by my side to make it easier.
- We become more prone to illness. This is one of my biggest fears. Illness is so characteristic of old age, and while I hope for new medical advancements for conditions like cancer and Alzheimer’s disease, I know that they’re a long way off. I want someone to take care of me. I don’t want to end up in a nursing home with a bunch of strangers. In my mind, I’d like to have someone right there beside me in my most vulnerable time.
- Friends and family start to pass on over the years. If things weren’t bad enough, there’s also the fact that a lot of friends and family begin to die. It’s nature’s way, the circle of life and all that. Science has proven that couples tend to live longer. If I’m going to be alive without any of my friends then I want to have a built-in friend for the ride.
- As you age, fewer people have your world perspective. I went and visited my grandmother a couple of weeks ago for her 70th birthday and it really drove this point home for me. While my grandmother has family and friends that visit once in a while, none of us know what it was like in her time. None of us saw what she saw. My grandfather is the only person in her life that does, and I’m sure he provides a lot of comfort and camaraderie. That’s what I want. I don’t want to be that 80-year-old woman reminiscing about the good times with some who won’t understand.
- The older you get, the more time you have on your hands. This is probably the scariest thing for me. If you combine all the lack of activity and relationships that come with age, you get one thing. Time. Lots and lots of spare time. If I can’t have anything to fill it with, then I’ll take a lifelong relationship with someone I love. I don’t want passion or a great love story. A stable relationship is everything. I hate dating, but I see it as a must for the happy future I want to have.
