Most people don’t believe me when I say I hate being hit on but it’s true. Sure, it can be flattering and boost your self-esteem but to me, being hit on is one of the most degrading things ever. Here’s why I detest it so much:
I’m More Than What I Look Like.
I began modeling when I was 14 and I’ve continued this career ever since. Beauty can have its power but it’s far from everything. I have worked so hard to be more than my appearance. When a guy starts talking to me at a bar, it’s clearly based off of what I look like. I loathe when a man only sees me as a piece of meat and not as a woman with a brain. He thinks I’m attractive? That’s great, but what else does he think I have to offer?
Pretty Is What Pretty Does.
Even though my mom was my manager at the height of my modeling career, my parents pounded that saying into my brain. I refuse to be treated, or thought of, as a wallflower. I have a brain, I have ambitions, and I have big dreams, none of which a guy will ever get in the way of. I understand that being approached at a bar isn’t the end of the world, but it’s the end of any progress I’ve made to be more than my face.
I grew up with two older brothers and I have countless guy friends. I’ve seen them all on the hunt at a bar and it’s really uncomfortable to witness. Basically, when a guy wants your attention, he’ll stare at you from across the bar until you look at him. This is their move—this is what they have for us. It’s downright creepy. God help us if they then go on and try a heinous pickup line.
I Want A Guy TO Be My Friend First.
Any guy that I’ve dated has been my friend first. They talked to me and got to know me as a person, not as a pretty piece. I appreciate that kind of relationship. I’d much rather have a man be interested in me and have the decency to start a conversation over a man who’s giving me the sex eyes from across the bar.
I Have The Inside Track.
Having two brothers and guy friends definitely has its perks. Maintaining these relationships has given me the inside scoop, which is otherwise exclusive information among men. When a guy is looking at you, he’s doing more than checking you out. I’ve been informed that he’s mentally undressing you and fantasizing about things he’d like to do sexually. He’s not thinking about how pretty you look, he’s imagining himself inside you. End of discussion.
It Makes Me Uncomfortable.
If you’re a woman who loves being hit on and getting attention from men then all power to you. I’m not one of these women. Having a man stare at me makes my skin crawl. I love clothes and I love dressing up for me, but on many occasions, I’ve dressed down just to avoid attention. Foolish, I know, but I’ll hide if I feel eyes on me.
Too many guys can’t take a hint (or a polite refusal).
I’m known to be verbally abusive if a man won’t leave me alone. Only once was I physically abusive when a guy grabbed my ass—but man, that slap across his face felt great. I don’t put up with this kind of disrespect towards women. I will protect myself and any woman who is dealing with an impolite man.
Society Puts Pressure On Women To Look A Certain Way.
Long hair, tan skin, a thigh-gap, and highlights seem to be the requirements to be attractive. There’s too much emphasis put on women and their looks. Men hitting on women based on what they see just adds to the fight women are up against.
Beauty Has Power And I Hate It.
I don’t care if anyone thinks this is shallow of me to say—it’s the truth. Coming from a woman who quit her job after she found out she was hired because she was “easy to look at,” I know that attraction has power. Men think with their other head, which is why I believe women are the superior sex. How you look should have no effect on your qualifications for a job, your talent in a sport, or your confidence. We’re so much more than what we look like and I will go to the grave preaching this to women.
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