Being single can feel really lonely, especially during the holiday season. What’s worse is when you’re surrounded by seemingly perfect couples left and right in person and on social media. It looks like some people have exactly what you want while you’re stuck striking out over and over. The Internet isn’t always as it seems, though, so I chose to stop giving energy to #relationshipgoals pics online.
I want it when it’s my time.
The older I get, the more I realize how important it is to be in tune with the universe. I want things to flow and fall into place. Forcing something that’s not meant to be is a recipe for disaster. The idea of being in a happy relationship is nice and all, but it’s not realistic to assume it will happen overnight. I’m OK with waiting for something good, as long as it happens eventually.
A lot of people front while going through trials you don’t know about or want.
People can look picture perfect online and make any type of posts, but when you actually get to know them, you may quickly learn otherwise. I’ve had friends who posted nothing but “love my perfect family” over and over, only to suddenly pop up divorced. Only then did the years of unhappiness and hidden abuse unravel. The whole time I had been envious of how put-together they seemed! Social media isn’t a reliable place for the truth.
There isn’t a quota for success or happiness.
People act like if someone else is in their winning season, it somehow means they can no longer receive good themselves. There’s no rule that says two people can’t succeed simultaneously. If it doesn’t take your chances away, why be salty and not want it for them and you both? It’s selfish to feel like you’re the only one allowed to receive good, and this negative type of attitude may be why you’re on the receiving end of feeling sour anyway.
Once I’m in a long-term relationship, it may be permanent.
Not saying marriage is a bad thing but once it happens, I hope it actually lasts till death do us part. If this is the plan, why rush it? This is my only chance for options. I could date, date different people, only date one person, be single, etc. Once I’m committed to a happy “couple-ship,” then that’ll be it. I should enjoy the opportunity I have now to switch things up and have a little fun. Getting everything out of my system now may also save me from a future mid-life crisis.
Relationships aren’t a one-time prize you get.
Relationships are work. It’s not like winning the lottery and suddenly having money to spend that you didn’t work for. It’s a continuous job to consider another person’s needs and respect their differences. You have to learn to share, compromise, listen, resolve conflict, etc. There are obvious benefits, but many of these come with putting in the work and continuing to maintain what you have with someone.
It may be a call to action for you.
Time for some hard truth. You may continuously see others with these photos and it not be you because you’re just not ready. You may be pushing people away or sabotaging relationships because you’re due for some healing, inner work, and personal growth first. You may need to worry less about enjoying someone else and spend more time working on being a more attractive, better version of you.
People usually don’t advertise the bad.
Social media is typically one-sided in that people are only going to display their braggable achievements. Sure, they may have a solid relationship going for them, but you don’t know what other hardships they’re facing. Let them be happy about what they can be proud of. Their silent hardships may be far worse than whatever loneliness you’re feeling over just lacking a solid relationship in your life. Everyone has their baggage and struggle and you just have to stay focused on your individual path. You never know—while you’re busy wanting to be them, they may be watching all of your single moves and wishing to be you!
I may not be in a happy relationship, but at least I’m not in a bad one.
Be careful what you wish for. You could be desperate for a partner and end up with the next toxic disaster of your lifetime. Just because you had one or two bad exes does not mean you met your worst. Being alone is quiet, but it can also be safe and secure. It’s way better than being with the wrong person. Use this time to learn how to communicate and work alongside someone else harmoniously for when your time does come so you don’t blow it.
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