I Can Hate You Now Only Because I Loved You Then

I Can Hate You Now Only Because I Loved You Then ©iStock/CentralITAlliance

You broke my heart and I lost the person I loved more than anyone I’ve ever known. I can’t go back in time or change the past and I don’t even want to. I was head over heels in love with you but now I can’t stand the sight of you. But the truth is that if I hate you now, it’s only because I loved you before.

  1. It hurt too much to lose you. I’ve never known pain like that before and it’s your fault that I do. You were supposed to be the one person who would never hurt me and look what happened. I believed you when you said you’d love me forever and now I hate you for breaking that promise. As much as I loved you, I hate you for letting me go.
  2. Ignorance was bliss. Before I knew you, life was good. Once I knew what love could truly be, I knew that life would never be the same. So when it was ripped away from me, I had to wonder—was it all worth it, or would I have been better off never even knowing real love?
  3. We could have been great friends. Before we fell in love, we had an amazing friendship; now we have nothing. We are nothing to each other and I hate that my former friend treated me this way. The guy I used to know would hate the guy you are now. Our friendship could have lasted a lifetime but there’s no chance in hell of a friendship now.
  4. I hate myself too. I hate myself for loving you and continuing to love you as you lost your love for me. I hate that I allowed myself to let you treat me like crap. I hate how much power you had over me, and how my world shattered when our story ended. As much as I hate and blame you, I blame myself too.
  5. I wish I could erase you. The pain is in the memories and as hard as I try, I can’t forget. I’ll always remember the good times and I will always feel anger in the bad. I wish I didn’t know how wonderful your love could be. I wish I could forget how cruel you were when we ended. I just want to forgive, forget and finally let you go.
  6. Hate isn’t the opposite of love. Indifference is, because now that I know what it was like to love you and what you were like when you loved me, I could never be indifferent. Indifference is for the unknown, but sadly I know you too well. Since I can’t erase the time we spent together, my feelings of love haven’t evaporated into indifference — they’ve transformed to hate.
  7. I loved the person you were, but I hate who you became. The person I fell in love with and the person you are now are two completely different people. You changed along the course of our relationship into someone I barely recognized. I hate you for taking away the man I loved and transforming into a guy I hate.
  8. All I want is for you to be out of my life for good. I forgive the fact that our love story ended, even how it ended, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to bury the hatchet. I’ve forgiven you, but now I’m going to forget you. I won’t leave you endless phone calls. I won’t flood your inbox with text messages. I won’t even look your way when we pass each other on the street. All I ask is for enough courtesy for you to do the same.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.