I Hated Romance Until I Got Into A Serious Relationship—Here’s What Changed My Perspective

When I was single, my life was one bad date after another and romance was the furthest thing from my mind. In fact, I actively kind of hated it. Fast forward to last September when I started dating my now boyfriend and everything changed.

  1. I met a guy who’s a total sap. When the guy that you’ve been dating for a bit tells you exactly how he feels about you and says super sweet and adorable things, you’re not exactly going to laugh in his face and say that you hate getting all mushy. He pretended to go to the bathroom and secretly paid on our first date. He made me dinner on our fifth date. He held my hand when we watched movies or grocery shopped and a day never went by that he didn’t say something cute. I realized that there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of romance and that it’s actually the best thing ever.
  2. I fell hard and fast. Six weeks in, the guy I was seeing asked me to be his girlfriend, and two weeks later, we were saying that we loved each other and talking about living together. If I still hated romance and thought that it was super boring after that, well, that would be pretty weird. I couldn’t help but believe in true love after finding it so quickly.
  3. We met IRL and not through a dating app. No offense to anyone who has found love by swiping—however you meet your person is awesome—but the story of how my boyfriend and I met and started seeing each other honestly makes me think that fate had a hand in it. Basically, we met six years ago in a classroom, became Facebook friends, and then didn’t speak until one night last summer. A mutual friend had a party, we chatted, I asked him out (via Facebook message, of course) and that was that. How could I hate on romance after that kind of story?
  4. I realized there are different kinds of romance. I always assumed that romance was the stuff of movies: the way too passionate kisses before the closing credits, the red roses for every occasion, the ridiculous speeches that no one would actually say. Then I got into a relationship and realized that I was totally wrong. Romance can be your boyfriend making you eggs and bacon on a Sunday morning, going grocery shopping a second time because he forgot the avocados (true story), or even just smiling at each other when you see each other at the end of the day. It doesn’t have to be complicated.
  5. Being romantic is a great way to stay close and keep your bond. When my boyfriend and I talk about our feelings, it’s impossible not to feel like we’re connecting even more and I really like that. If we didn’t talk to each other like this, our relationship probably wouldn’t feel as solid. This is obviously a totally personal thing and some couples might hate saying this kind of mushy stuff to each other, but it works for us.
  6. It’s normal to hate on romance when you’re single AF. Let’s be real here: without a partner to share your life with, you don’t really want to deal with anything romantic. I didn’t mind watching romantic TV shows or movies back in my single girl days, but I’d always wonder why I didn’t have what I saw on the screen. It was tough not to get into that negative headspace. I told myself that I totally hated romance and now I think it was a kind of defense mechanism. When I got into a relationship, there was just no reason to be so cynical about love.
  7. I don’t need to be jealous anymore. A single woman who isn’t a green-eyed monster around couples from time to time is kind of a liar. I put on a brave face and a smile but wasn’t a big fan of going to party after party and seeing my friends who had already found their partners. Now that I have someone in my life, I don’t need to be jealous of anyone who’s in love and who is acting romantic. That was the real reason behind my dislike of anyone who was a hopeless romantic.
  8. When it’s genuine, sweet nothings really are, well, sweet. It’s easy to say that corny statements are boring and that no one should talk like they’re starring in a romantic comedy. But when you and your partner get all touchy-feely, you’re simply expressing your love, and honestly, that’s super real and super genuine. It doesn’t feel as fake as some movie moments do. I think that every girl needs to find a guy who makes her swoon on a regular basis. It’s totally something that everyone deserves.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.