Hatfishing Is The Worst Dating Trend Of The Year

First there was catfishing, where people pretend to be something online that they’re not in real life, and now there’s hatfishing. Yes, seriously. If you’ve ever been hatfished by a guy, you’ll know how shady it can be. Here’s more about this weird trend.

  1. What’s hatfishing about? Hatfishing is basically when a guy’s married to his hat (or multiple hats). He wears it in every Facebook and dating profile picture and maybe even in real life, whether he’s at a baseball game or eating dinner at a fancy restaurant.
  2. Don’t leave your hat on! What makes hatfishing so shady is that it’s like the guy’s hiding something. It’s basically the equivalent of wearing sunglasses in every picture and indoors. People end up wondering WTF is wrong with that guy.
  3. Seriously, what’s the deal? What can be so bad under that hat? Unless the guy’s got an extra head in there or Marge Simpson hair, it shouldn’t be such an issue. Okay, so he might have some weird hair or bald spots that he’s desperately trying to hide, but isn’t it better to put them on display instead of act dodgy?
  4. Hiding it is making it a problem. The issue is not so much what his hair or head looks like, but why he can’t just take the hat off. Hatfishing creates a problem where there isn’t one, and just makes everyone feel awkward.
  5. It’s a show of no confidence. If he’s so insistent on wearing a hat everywhere he goes and in every selfie, it shows that he’s got some major insecurities that he can’t deal with. That’s actually the problem, not so much that he’s not happy with his head.
  6. There could be a dealbreaker under there. You just want to see what’s under his hat! If he’s bald, that’s not a problem unless you’re really not into bald guys. But if he’s got some nasty hair that he never washes, that’s a dealbreaker right there because you don’t want a guy who’s unhygienic. The point is that you’d rather know upfront why he’s hiding his hair/head before you decide if you like him or not.
  7. Your interactions will be limited. If a guy’s always wearing a cap, the idea of dating him becomes awkward AF. How will you take him to meet your folks or go to the opera? Is he going to come to your work functions in a top hat? It’s crazy how one accessory can impact your relationship but it really can.
  8. What if he looks completely different without the hat? It’s possible that he looks very different when he’s not wearing a hat because his forehead and head will be on display. It might sound superficial, but what if you’re not as attracted to him then? It’s like when guys date women who wear loads of makeup all the time and can’t help but wonder what their faces really look like first thing in the morning.
  9. Hats signal a man with baggageIf a guy can’t part ways with his hat, it makes you wonder if he not only has insecurities about his appearance but also emotional baggage. Maybe women in the past have insulted him for his hair and he just can’t deal. Or, he worries that women won’t like him if he’s got bald spots, so he’d rather just pretend that he doesn’t. Be warned: a hatted man is a man with issues.
  10. Hats are cheesy. Hats might be trendy but honestly, they can look so corny. As for caps, they can make a guy look like a teenager or like he’s trying too hard to be cool. And then there are beanies, which are weird to wear when it’s not cold out unless the guy’s planning to rob a bank later. SMH.
  11. Will he ever take it off? If he never leaves the house without first putting on a cap, you have to wonder when you’ll get to see him without it. Will he be the type of guy who switches off the light at bedtime before removing his cap? Things can become ridiculous and make you feel like he’s holding back from emotional intimacy by not showing you what he really looks like.
  12. There’s the big reveal to expect in future. If you try to ignore the hat and date him anyway, eventually he’ll have to reveal what he looks like without his hat. Anticipating that event can make things really stressful. You might worry how to deal with what he shows you and the issues he might have concerning them. What if they’re too much for you? Ugh.
  13. His hat shouldn’t be the elephant in the room. You might really like the guy but just want to know what he’s hiding, which puts you at a difficult crossroad: do you try to get the truth out of him, or wait around until he’s ready to talk about it? Honestly, if it’s date five and you’ve never seen him without a hat, you should ask him about it. Who cares if you seem superficial? You deserve to know what he’s hiding before you take things further, and chances are he would’ve asked you by now if the tables were turned. Besides, if he can’t handle a simple question, his hat’s not the problem –  he is.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.