I Have Some Big Plans For My Life & Getting Married Isn’t Part Of Them

Getting married is a goal for many people, but it’s never really interested me. It’s not that I don’t love the idea of a long-term relationship — I just don’t see the appeal in a big wedding and all that legal stuff. Some might call me crazy for it, but this is why getting hitched just isn’t on my life agenda:

  1. I was never that little girl. I legitimately never gave a thought to my future wedding at any time growing up. You know how some kids have everything all planned out, from the dress to the venue to the ceremony? Not me. I couldn’t even tell you what style of gown I would prefer.
  2. It’s honestly not something that I care about. My feelings as an adult are exactly the same as they were when I was a child. I just don’t care about marriage. It doesn’t seem like anything sacred in my eyes. What’s truly amazing is a devoted and lasting love, with or without a piece of paper that defines it legally. I seriously don’t understand why other people get all excited about marriages and weddings.
  3. I’m not into all the planning. Nothing sounds more awful to me than the idea of planning a wedding. Talk about the worst headache ever. Most brides get so stressed out about organizing their own ceremonies and receptions that they don’t even enjoy it once they’re there. It’s a shame, if you ask me. I’d consider eloping, but that’s it.
  4. The financial element stresses me out. Everything about marriage sounds awful to me. From the actual cost of the day itself to sharing a bank account to making large purchases together, it’s frightening. I like having my own money and spending or saving it as I please. I don’t want to have to answer to anyone else for my choices in that area.
  5. I’m not very traditional. I’m kind of a bohemian road hippie at heart. I’ve never wanted to live in the same home forever, and I don’t care about physical possessions. The idea of a husband, kids, a dog and a white picket fence bores the crap out of me. No thanks — I’ll pass. I’d rather live free and independent forever.
  6. I don’t want kids. Never have, pretty sure I never will. I’m in my early thirties and I still feel exactly the same about the issue. I’m so firm in my stance that I’ve actually gone through more than one breakup because of it. I can’t say 100 percent that I’ll absolutely never change my mind, but at this point, I’m almost positive I won’t. I know there are plenty of women who have kids without being married or are married without having children, but I don’t see the point in a legal marriage if I don’t want kids.
  7. I like my freedom. I don’t enjoy the idea of being legally bound to another person. If we both choose of our own free will to commit to each other, that’s wonderful. At the same time, if we decide that’s no longer what’s right for us, I think we should have the ability to separate easily. I guard my independence fiercely because it’s very important to me.
  8. I can be committed without a contract. It’s not that I can’t be in a monogamous, long-term relationship — I’ve been in plenty. I actually prefer them; dating around is simply too much work. It’s just that on a practical level, I see absolutely no need to sign myself up for an archaic and arguably obsolete tradition. I refuse to bind myself for something as silly as a tax break.
  9. Traditional men don’t excite me. Guys who just want to settle down and get married do nothing for me. Yes, I want a mature partner who can commit to me, but he can do that without marrying me. The two things aren’t mutually exclusive. I want adventure and excitement in my life, and I want a man who will accompany me on that journey. I have no interest in someone who needs a conventional marriage, a steady routine, and a 9-to-5.
  10. Divorce is the worst. As a child of divorce, I can attest to the fact that it causes irreparable turmoil. Even though I don’t plan on bringing kids into this world, the idea of dealing with the legal issues of a divorce grosses me out. I’ve seen so many formerly happy marriages fall apart in bitterness and ruin. Handling the loss of tremendous love and also having to figure out who gets what through divorce lawyers? Count me out. It’s too ugly.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.