I Have My Issues But Please Don’t Give Up On Me

I Have My Issues But Please Don’t Give Up On Me ©iStock/franckreporter

It’s only a matter of time before I mess up — I know this about myself. I’ll make mistakes, cause arguments and have lapses in judgment. When that time comes, I hope you won’t give up on me. I’m more than my screw ups, and I need you to accept me, even at my worst.

  1. I’m only human. To be human is to mess up. Yes, I’m amazing, but I’m also flawed. I’m going to do or say the wrong thing, drink way too much when I’m feeling anxious or lose track of time when we have plans. I’m going to forget stuff, important stuff, and accidentally break things because of my lifelong proclivity towards clumsiness. I run out of gas too often and I make people late. I might lose my temper because of stress at work or text an ex when I’m feeling sad. These things are annoying, sure, but hardly dealbreakers in my eyes. Don’t give up on me, because I’m only human and I’m working on my flaws.
  2. If the standard is perfection then we’re already doomed. If there’s no room for error in our relationship then we might as well save ourselves the heartbreak and call it quits now. I’m going to mess up and so are you. There’s a whole lot of gray area in between perfection and dysfunction, and that’s where I’m going to be — hopefully with you by my side.
  3. Aiming to be at my best constantly causes more anxiety than I can bear. I need to be able to cut myself some slack. I can’t tolerate the pressure of being a perfect girlfriend. In fact, it might cause me to screw up even worse. Instead of perfection, I strive to be kind, thoughtful, loving, supportive and true to who I am. Trying to be a flawless person gives me too much anxiety because I could never live up to that impossible standard.
  4. I need the security and comfort of knowing it’s okay to make mistakes. I need to know you won’t run at the first sign of imperfection. I need to know that it’s okay to make mistakes and that I don’t need to try to hide them or cover them up. I’ll never feel secure if I don’t have to worry that a few minor mistakes might cause our entire relationship to crumble. There’s a great comfort in hearing that you won’t give up on me, even on my worst days.
  5. I’ll never be reckless with our relationship. I make honest mistakes, but I’m not reckless. I wouldn’t hurt you intentionally or be so careless that my screw ups could have been easily avoided. I’d never try to walk all over you or take you for granted — I just can’t live life as a Stepford wife either.
  6. I won’t ask anything of you that I wouldn’t do myself. Patience and forgiveness are a two-way street. I accept your flaws and screw ups and stand by you in rough times. No one’s perfect, but two people can help round each other out and be stronger as a unit than they would be themselves. Don’t give up on me because I wouldn’t give up on you.
  7. I need you to believe in me. I believe in myself wholeheartedly. If you don’t believe in me, you will only wear down my self-esteem or make me question myself. Forgive my mistakes, believe I can do better and give me an opportunity to work on them.
  8. If you can’t accept the worst parts of me, then this isn’t love. Everybody has flaws and bad habits. Love doesn’t magically shut off when your partner screws up. You don’t have to enjoy every mistake I make, but you do have to accept them. They are part of me, and if you love me, you have to love all of me.
  9. I’m working on me. I’m working on my stuff. I want to be better for myself, but also for us. I’ll get where I want to be, but I want you by my side, growing with me.
  10. I’ll always succeed where it really matters. I’ll never fail at loving you, being on your team and providing you with emotional support. Stand by me when I make small failures and watch what amazing things I can bring to this relationship. If you chose to give up on me, you’re giving up something wonderful. My strengths far outweigh my flaws — I hope you’re smart enough to see that.
Holly Harris is a freelance writer, full time student, and mommy to a toddler sass monster. In her (nearly nonexistent) free time, you can find her lifting something heavy in her home gym or chugging vodka sodas with friends. She contributes to several other sites, including Elite Daily.