Have You Been Werewolfed? 10 Signs A Guy Isn’t What He Seems

If you’re reading this, it’s likely you’ve fallen victim to ghosting before. What could be worse than the person you’re dating suddenly dropping from your radar without warning, never to be seen again? I’ll tell you what’s worse: werewolfingthe hot new dating trend where the person you’re seeing transforms into something beastly before your very eyes. Here are 9 tips to spot a werewolf:

  1. HE SEEMS HARMLESS AT FIRST—Almost A Little TOO Harmless, actually. In the beginning, the werewolf guy will seem completely adorable and harmless. He likes to cuddle. Wherever you go, he’s right behind you. He’s got enough energy for the both of you. He’s always stoked to see you come in the door. At the start of your relationship with the werewolf guy, he’ll pretty much act like a puppy. You take him home because he’s cute—and who doesn’t like a puppy?
  2. HE MOVES FAST. He probably did track and field in high school, but I’m not talking about his run time. The werewolf guy likes you A LOT and he’s not one to take things slow. He wants to meet your friends now, have sex now, go on vacation now—everything now, now, now. You think you have all the time in the world for those things but the werewolf guy doesn’t seem to share that sentiment. He’s got a tight schedule and he’s sticking to it. It’s almost as if he’s working with limited time.
  3. HE’S… ANIMALISTIC IN BED. Dude has a lot of pent up frustration about something and he’s letting it all out in bed. He loses all inhibitions. While passionate sex probably isn’t the worst arrangement you could have, sometimes it’s nice to have slow, lazy, Sunday morning sex, you know? Sexy time can’t play out like a raunchy erotica novel sex scene every single time. Pay attention if your guy is always roughin’ it.
  4. HE’S A LONE WOLF. The werewolf guy isn’t one to run with the pack. He’s kind of a loner, which could explain why he’s taken to you with such eagerness. Sure, he has friends, but the werewolf guy would prefer eating pizza and watching horror movies by himself than hitting the bars with a group of friends. If he’s not hanging out with you, he’s content to enjoy his own company. Everyone needs their alone time to recharge, but being alone all the time is bound to get lonely.
  5. HE WARNS YOU THAT HE’S “DANGEROUS.” You know the type— the guys who warn you to “stay away” and tell you they don’t want to “hurt you.” Okay, well, don’t. The werewolf guy is brooding. He wants to protect you… from himself. Jokingly, you ask, “What did you do?” He gives you a look. You drop the subject. Awkward.
  6. HE’S BUILDING A MYSTERY. The werewolf guy doesn’t talk a lot about himself. He may tell you he doesn’t like camping but he won’t give you a hint as to why. He makes mention of grandiose world adventures but keeps them shrouded in mystery. You realize that he knows your mother’s maiden name and your weird phobia of bellybuttons but you don’t know the nature of his trip to Cuba.
  7. HE BECOMES TERRITORIAL. Do you want to hang out with your best guy pal alone? Forget it. Thinking of going to your girlfriend’s bachelorette party in Vegas? Not if werewolf guy has anything to say about it. As much as he wants to protect you from himself, he wants to keep you all for himself. The werewolf guy treats you as if you’re a piece of property—his property. He’ll puff out his chest if another man speaks to you in his presence. He’ll peek over your shoulder while you’re texting. No matter how you slice it, territorial behavior is never cool or okay. Don’t accept it.
  8. HIS DEMEANOR CHANGES WITHOUT WARNING. The clingy, cuddly, brooding, over-protective guy you’ve been seeing will suddenly turn into the shell of the person he was. He’s distant. He comes and goes like a ship in the night. He’s unusually defensive. He dodges questions about where he was last night or what he’s going to do this weekend. He won’t set any tentative plans with you. You’ve been here before—all signs point to this dude ghosting.
  9. HE DISAPPEARS….AND COMES BACK. Poof, he’s gone. A few days go by without any word from him. You accept your fate. You’ve been ghosted. You watch your favorite breakup rom-com, eat your weight in chocolate, and get back on the saddle. Then, just when you’re starting to feel hopeful about the future, he shows up again. He apologizes for disappearing. He’s just like was before—cuddly and crazy about you, following you around like a puppy. Don’t fall for it, girl. You’re another full moon away from another full dose of crazy.
Blaire is a writer, improviser, and human being. She loves scalding hot bubble baths and long talks with her cat.