I don’t mind being celibate for a little while—it’s definitely easier than dealing with the fallout of sex with the wrong person. Now that I’ve gone so long, though, it’s beginning to feel ridiculous and I can’t take it anymore.
- I’m on edge all the time. I’d love to say that I’m calm and serene when I’m not getting laid but in all honesty, it sucks big time. I can handle it for a while, but now it’s like I barely remember what it feels like to have sex with a person who isn’t me. I’m not coping with it very well anymore.
- I feel like I stink of desperation. How could I not? I’m not trying to be that way, but my body craves physical attention and I think I’m putting out weird vibes. I’m suspicious, so now I’m attempting to act normal. I probably seem like I don’t care at all, which is totally untrue.
- I’m tired of having sex with myself. The great thing about masturbation is that I can control my own pleasure, and I generally get a better payoff because of it. Still, it’s completely different than sex with a partner. I miss the endorphin rush, the release, and the happy, hazy afterglow.
- I miss physical affection of any kind. Not only am I not getting laid, I’m not getting cuddled or kissed or anything. It’s terrible! I’d love to even make out with someone at this point—although let’s be real, I know I’d be impatient for it to lead to something more serious quickly.
- I’m desperately craving a man’s touch. I know this because any time a male friend or co-worker touches me in any sort of casual manner, my whole body quivers. I know they can’t tell but it’s still embarrassing. That tiny little taste of what I’m missing leaves me yearning for much more.
- I think about sex constantly. Seriously, all the time. I’m like a teenage guy. I perpetually check out random dudes and I’m actually pretty obvious about it on purpose. You’d think that would get me some attention but I’m mortified by it, so I just spend a lot of energy trying to act normal.
- I have a high sex drive anyway, which makes it worse. I like to have a good amount of sex even when I’m dating someone, so imagine how awful it is to be in this position! Not only am I hornier than usual because I haven’t gotten any in so long, I’m hornier than other people to begin with.
- I think it would change my whole mood if I could just get some. It affects me mentally, physically, and emotionally. I can get by just fine, and I am managing, but I know that I’d be in a better place if I was having sex. After all, it’s scientifically proven to be quite the mood booster.
- I want to bone every decent guy I see. Obviously I have a good amount of willpower because I haven’t made any terrible decisions. I’d love to fulfill my physical needs, but logically I’m aware that meaningless sex with some a-hole would make everything worse. I’d rather live without sex than with regrets.
- I can’t make myself just have sex with whoever. I know there are people out there who would argue that I can get sex if I really try, and they’re right. At the same time, I know that it’s not just random meaningless hookups that I want. I need that feeling of being with someone who really turns me on and gets me.
- I know that sex deprivation clouds my judgment. I worry that as soon as I find a guy who’s halfway tolerable and into me, I’ll jump right into bed with him. I’m craving physical pleasure so horribly at this point that I’ll be revving to go, and that means I might end up making some serious mistakes.
- I’m freaking out because I have no idea when I’ll get laid. If I had some foreseeable prospect, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad and I’d be more patient. As it is, I see no sex anywhere in my near future. It makes me feel panicky because seriously, what if I never get any again?
- I literally feel depressed from lack of sex. I’m starting to lose the feeling of being a sexual, desirable human being. Going this long without being touched or physically appreciated in any way is taking its toll on my psyche. I’m in a funk and I don’t know how to get out of it unless I start getting some action.
- I lose hope of ever meeting the right guy with every day that passes. I try to stay optimistic, but the longer this situation drags on, the tougher it gets. I’m not made of steel. I have needs and feelings and emotions, but I’m beginning to feel dead and hollow inside. It sucks!
