I Haven’t Had Sex In Forever & It’s Making Me Crabby AF

I’m not going to lie, I get really grumpy when I haven’t had sex in a while. It’s the worst. I start getting irritable about the stupidest stuff and I have to remind myself to calm down. I wish I was the kind of girl who didn’t care about getting laid, but it’s not that simple.

  1. Sex is a huge mood booster. I’m definitely suffering from the effects of not getting any— when I’m having it on the regular, I’m in the best mood ever. I almost feel addicted. I get sex brain like crazy! I wish that I had someone reliable I could hook up with when I felt like it without making things complicated. No sex = grouchy pants me.
  2. It sucks never being touched in a loving way. Sometimes when I’m in a relationship I take all the little physical gestures for granted. I get used to always being touched, then we break up and I yearn for that contact. I get to the point where I give my friends hugs constantly just to feel some connection. Not having sex means I’m never touched the way I want to be.
  3. I’m a very physical and sexual being. Despite the fact that I’m not promiscuous in the least, I’m definitely a sexual and physically alive person. My jobs are all very physical and I spend a lot of time working out and utilizing my body. When I’m having sex, I’m all about it—I want to do it all the time! When I’m not, I feel a definite void in my life.
  4. My standards get in the way of me getting any and it’s annoying. I can’t deny the person I am, and I know that if I went against my own values, I’d be unhappy. Still, I often wish I was different. I’d definitely have more sex if I was. I can’t just sleep with anybody—I won’t let myself. I’m not into the one-night stand thing, as hard as I try to be sometimes.
  5. I’m too scared to hook up with randos. I’m very protective of my sexual health and that keeps me from having as much fun sexually as I might otherwise. Conversely, it also keeps me from getting into really bad situations. It’s not sexy to sleep with someone if I’m worried about whether I can trust him—and let’s be real, I probably can’t. I’m not having sex and I’m super frustrated.
  6. I want safe sex with no attachments, which is so tough. Everyone I know is either in a committed relationship or sleeping around with whoever. I can’t find anyone who is interested in a no strings attached situation where we can sleep together and also trust each other to be honest. It’s not an easy scenario by any means, and because I can’t find it, I’m not having sex at all.
  7. I crave physical contact and it feels pathetic. Because I’m so grouchy and sexually deprived, I search for physical affection. One of my jobs is very touchy-feely, but I have to stay professional, so I can’t be weird about it. I’ve definitely allowed too much physical stuff on dates at times just because I missed being touched, and I don’t like that.
  8. I feel like I primally NEED it at this point. It’s been so long that I’m craving sex like heroin or sugar or caffeine or something. I get distracted by sexual thoughts to the point where I feel like I’m a horny dude. It’s a problem—especially when there are men around who I’m attracted to but can never have. Why can’t life bring me someone who’s available?
  9. I’ve gone so long without that I’m starting to feel asexual. I can tell when it’s been way too long because I forget that I’m even a sexual being. I even stop caring what I look like, and I definitely give up on flirting and trying to get anywhere with the opposite sex. It’s like I’m so defeated that I figure I’ll never get laid so what’s the point?
  10. I swear no one even wants to go there with me. It doesn’t help my confidence when I go days, weeks, even months, without anyone showing interest—and when someone does, it’s someone who is totally wrong for me and JUST wants to get laid. That’s not what I’m looking for, which makes it impossible to have sex when I’m single.
  11. I haven’t felt that amazing sexual spark in forever and it sucks. Sometimes I meet someone and it’s just there—that intangible, inexplicable attraction. You all know what I’m talking about. I honestly have a hard time hooking up with anyone I don’t feel that sexual chemistry with, and that limits my options because I hardly ever feel it with anyone!
  12. All I want is… an impossible fantasy situation. I’m aware that I’m probably never going to find what I want and to be honest, I only want it until I find the guy I actually love. I highly doubt I’m going to meet someone mature who is DTF but also trustworthy and responsible. I probably wouldn’t enjoy that situation for long anyway.
  13. Women have needs too, dammit. It seems like society expects men to be the only people getting sexually frustrated when they don’t get laid. That’s not the case at all—women are just as sexual as guys. I think about sex a lot too, and I definitely have sexual thoughts about attractive men. That doesn’t make me a perv, it makes me a human being.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.