Getting into a new relationship is always a bit terrifying, especially as you get older and you start looking for someone you could possibly spend the rest of your life with. You don’t want to lose them by demanding commitment too soon, but you also don’t want to waste your time, so what DO you do? Believe it or not, the signs can be pretty obvious and they’re right there in your day-to-day conversations. If you talk about these things, chances are you’ve found the real deal:
He doesn’t hesitate to talk about the distant future.
When he’s in it for real, he doesn’t hesitate to plan your lives together in a real way. This means you’re making travel plans together, attending weddings together, and not hesitating to lock things down instead of sitting scared on the fence post waiting for something to go wrong. You’re both confident you’ll still be together to see your plans through, even way later down the road. It’s a great feeling.
You discuss your future family goals.
Knowing what you both want out of a potential future family is important, especially since more and more people are opting out of having children entirely. When you have the conversation about how many kids you either want or don’t want to have, how you want to raise them, and where — and you’re on the same page — it’s a pretty good sign that you could be exactly where you’re meant to be.
You have conversations with his mother when he’s not around.
If you’re in good with the parents and you talk to them without your partner around, it’s safe to say that crap is pretty real. A guy who doesn’t plan on spending a lifetime with you isn’t going to let you converse with or visit his family on your own personal time without him.
You consider each other’s career goals and factor them into your own life.
Your goals may not be the exact same, but you’re both definitely ready and willing to compromise so that each of you finds happiness in what you want out of life. If he dreamed of moving across the country but finds out that you can’t relocate that far, he doesn’t hesitate to modify his ambitions to factor you into his life and vice versa. When compromise happens, your relationship is definitely serious.
You tell each other your deepest thoughts and ideas.
You don’t hesitate to tell each other everything from every dark corner of your past because you trust each other enough to know it won’t affect what you have. Even if there were others in the past that were scared off by your openness, you know you can trust each other completely with every bit of your hearts and neither of you will jump ship.
You discuss sharing holidays with both of your families.
When a holiday comes around, you strategize and thoughtfully plan how to incorporate both families into your holiday schedules. To you, both families are equally important, and you want to spend time building those bonds even further. After all, this is likely your forever family now.
You talk about marriage in detail.
The conversation about marriage doesn’t stop at “do you want to get married someday?” — it keeps going from there. You go into great detail about what you both want and expect out of a marriage and a wedding. Another obvious sign is when he uses phrases like, “When we get married…” At this point, you should know that he’s fully chosen you.
You can tell each other anything, no matter how embarrassing it is.
Yes, even the gross details get discussed, but hopefully as politely as possible. If you have a bad bit of indigestion, you don’t need to hide it, because you’re actually a couple that’s mature, understanding, and comfortable together. When you become really comfortable with someone to a degree that nothing is off-limits, you can bet that you both love each other all the way.
You frequently talk about forever as if it’s no big deal.
The best part about your relationship is the fact that you really don’t have to question anything at all. You both just know and talk about the future in a completely normal and natural way. It’s as if you’ve been together forever and you don’t hesitate to put it out there that you plan on sticking around for the long haul. You blissfully have those tough conversations, and it’s not a big deal because your relationship is legit.
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