Are You Having Mediocre Or Mind-Blowing Sex? This Is How You’ll Know

Are You Having Mediocre Or Mind-Blowing Sex? This Is How You’ll Know ©iStock/PeopleImages

We’ve all been through a mediocre pounding. It leaves you with a lackluster, kinda ho-hum, orgasm-ish type feeling that makes you feel totally empty inside. On the other hand, sometimes sex is like a magical ride on a unicorn to candy land that leaves you with a smirk on your face for days. In other words, there’s mediocre sex and then there’s mind-blowing sex — here are some key differences between the two:

  1. Mediocre sex makes you feel… awkward. We’ve all experienced the awkwardness that is mediocre sex. Little to no eye contact, stiff movements, not a word is said, and the only thing you’re thinking about is, “When is this gonna be over?” When it finally ends, you’re left with feelings of regret that last for days afterward. Sometimes it’s really just not worth it.
  2. Mind-blowing sex makes you smile. When you experience really good sex, it can keep you giddy for days. It’s like that scene in “500 Days of Summer” where Joseph Gordon-Levitt dances down the street after he bangs Zooey Deschanel, because yeah… the sex was THAT good.
  3. Mediocre sex happens when you’re stuck in your head. If you find yourself second-guessing or worrying about how you look, you can bet the sex is going to be hella mediocre. You can’t expect to reach orgasm when you’re stressing out, so relax, take a deep breath, and ENJOY it, for god’s sake.
  4. Mind-blowing sex happens when you trust in the moment. When your mind is clear and you trust the situation, magic happens. The best sex feels almost like a meditation. When you’re totally focused on each other and nothing else, mind-blowing sex will always ensue (well, at least it’s way more likely, anyway).
  5. Mediocre sex is usually with someone you don’t trust. Having sex with a rando can be kinda fun and badass, but rarely is it ever mind-blowing. You’ll both be holding back a bit simply because you don’t know each other well enough, which means there’s no way you can possibly imagine what each other likes. That doesn’t mean it can’t be good, just that it likely won’t have you screaming your partner’s name in ecstasy.
  6. Mind-blowing sex is usually with someone you have a deep connection with. When you know the person and trust them wholeheartedly, the sex is pure awesomeness. You don’t feel shy when you look them in the eye, you feel supported and accepted, and you’ll definitely be more likely to let your wild, sexy side out.
  7. Mediocre sex feels stifled. You’re kind of just going through the motions of what you THINK you should be doing. This only makes for an awkward sexual encounter that you both will wish would end the second it begins. Even if you do manage to convincingly make it SEEM awesome, in reality, it likely won’t be.
  8. Mind blowing sex is free-flowing and loose. The best sexy times give you the feeling that anything can happen at any moment. You’re literally enjoying each other’s bodies as if you are having a feast. Anything goes — kissing, rubbing, licking, changing positions; it almost feels like an improvised dance routine.
  9. Mediocre sex is the same thing over and over again. You know the drill: pick a position and stay there until someone comes. Where’s the fun in that? If all you’re getting is one motion in one specific position, you might want to call the yawn police because that’s boring AF.
  10. Mind-blowing sex has endless variety. The best sex involves all body parts and many different techniques. There’s oral, butt play, BDSM (if you’re into that), passionate makeout sessions, hand jobs, blow jobs, all the jobs! You don’t have to pick just one, either — you can do them all for however long you want to. That’s when sex becomes truly awesome.
  11. Mediocre sex happens when you’re not ready. Being ready physically is one thing; being ready mentally is a whole other ball game. First of all, if you’re not wet, you’re definitely not ready for sex. If you’re not in the mood or haven’t enthusiastically agreed to have sex with your partner, it’s not going to be enjoyable — unless you’re acting out a roleplay situation. Expect the sex to be very average.
  12. Mind-blowing sex is consensual. You wanna know when the best sex happens? When you actually want it. Nothing will make for a hotter sex session than two people who want to devour each other. When the stars align, the sex is like fireworks.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.