Having Trouble Finding Love? It Could Be Because Your Dating Style Is Immature

We all want to date a grown man, but lots of us don’t ever stop to wonder if we’re first setting the bar by dating like grown women. Even casual dating requires a certain level of maturity, and as hard as it is to admit, many of us haven’t yet gotten there. If you haven’t been too lucky in love, ask yourself if you’re displaying any of these signs of being an immature dater:

  1. You expect a lot of dates. Online dating may be convenient and it may make your life easier, but you can’t expect to go out with every guy that you chat with. The whole process takes time, and you have to be patient even when you really don’t want to be. If you think that every guy wants to date you, you’re not being an adult about the search for love.
  2. You think you’re perfect. You definitely have a lot of awesome qualities, but you’re not perfect. No one is. Don’t be so overly confident that you refuse to see any mistakes that you might be making.
  3. You dismiss guys within five minutes. If you hate the look of a guy the second you see him or you’re convinced as soon as you sit down that your evening with him will suck, you’re being unfair at best and super immature at worst. Would you want a guy to think of you this way?
  4. You think no guy is worth your time. You haven’t met every guy on the planet or even in your little corner of the world. Dismissing every man out there before getting the chance to get to know him isn’t doing either of you any favors. Give someone a fair shot and you just might be pleasantly surprised by what happens.
  5. You whine all the time. If your friends have stopped asking about your dating life, you can be sure that you’re whining way too much. Dating is annoying enough without your sulking and complaining making it even worse. Try laughing about your dating mishaps and see how it changes your whole perspective.
  6. You refuse to see the good in the process. No one’s going to argue that going on first dates is constant fun, but if you really don’t think that dating has any point at all, you need to be more level-headed. People start new relationships every single day. There’s nothing wrong with getting out there and trying to meet someone.
  7. You’re a control freak. Dating isn’t something that you can control no matter how much you might want to. You can’t make guys like you, and you can’t force them to behave in certain ways. If you’re doing everything “by the book” in hopes that it’ll force a guy to fall in love with you, you have a lot to learn about dating.
  8. You rush the process. Technically, you can ask a guy out five minutes after matching with him, but why would you want to? You don’t need to talk for weeks and weeks, but you should at least try to get to know him a bit. If you rush into things, you’re being kind of childish.
  9. You have a long list of dealbreakers. Of course you’re allowed to discount guys for being into drugs or not having a steady job. That’s totally legit. But if your deal breakers are so ridiculous that even your best friends laugh at them, you’re just screwing yourself over.
  10. You make fake excuses. If you take a dating break, then just own up to it. Admit you’re burnt out and need a timeout. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s much more immature to claim that you just can’t date because of all the losers out there or because no good guys seem to exist.
  11. You don’t have any faith. Modern dating is all about having hope in the face of many obstacles. If you refuse to believe that there are some good guys out there, you’re not only being immature, but you’re also making yourself pretty unhappy. Start dating like the grown-up that you are and you just might find your luck turning around.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.
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