Having Your Heart Broken Will Change Your Life In The Most Unexpected Ways

Having your heart broken is like getting punched in the stomach. It hurts really bad when it happens, but eventually, the pain goes away and you realize that if only you had better abs, it wouldn’t have been so painful. So, you hit the gym and remember to tense up the next time you come into contact with a fist. Now, you’re in great shape, and stronger than ever. I guess what I’m trying to get at is that a broken heart could possibly be a positive experience when looked at from the following angles:

  1. It’s a major wake-up call. You were living in a dream and ultimately had to wake up at some point. When we’re in love, we tend to ignore the negatives and exaggerate the positives. But now that you’ve split up, you can see that he was far from perfect and your parents were right all along (damn, why do they keep having to be right about everything?). No longer will you be wooed by a guy just because he has money, or a nice car, or plays in a band. This is real life, not Hollywood. A lot of other things matter, so before you fall for someone, you’ll now make sure they’ve proven themselves worthy first.
  2. You’ll no longer be naïve. Your heart was probably broken because he broke up with you, or you broke up with him after something he did wrong. And once someone betrays you, you’re no longer as trusting. You’ve now seen what people are capable of, especially someone you used to trust or who supposedly loved you back. This experience has therefore prepared you for tackling the rest of the world, which is just full of people who also shouldn’t be immediately trusted.
  3. You’ll notice the mistakes you madeAny time you break up, it can be seen as a learning experience and will give you the opportunity to reflect on your relationship. When you can see it from an objective standpoint (which you couldn’t do if you were still in the relationship), it’s a lot easier to see the obvious mistakes you made, such as maybe forgiving him for a behavior he shouldn’t have been forgiven for. When you can see where you went wrong, you’ll be able to correct it for your next relationship, which will undoubtedly be stronger from this knowledge alone.
  4. You’ll be more perceptive to warning signs.Just as you’ll be able to look back on your relationship and see where you went wrong, you’ll also be better able to detect warning signs in your future relationships. Before you broke up, maybe you noticed he was starting to ignore you on certain days, but instead of confronting him you waited until it was too late and you ran into him on the street with another woman. Who knows whether something could have been prevented if you had acted sooner, but at least you’ll be on your guard from now on.
  5. You’ll come out of it a stronger person.Despite what you might think, you will recover from a broken heart, though it could be a lengthy process. But when it’s over, you’ll emerge much stronger because you’ll be a survivor. A broken heart is a terrible form of pain that there’s no real medication for, so if you survive it, it shows a real ability to bounce back and regain control.
  6. You’ll realize you can’t always depend on someone else. People are unreliable. We all make mistakes, and no one is perfect. That said, once someone breaks your heart, you’ll realize you can’t always hold someone to their word or depend on them to be the person you thought them to be. If you always look to others for everything, you’re going to be sorely disappointed in life. It’s like that saying: if you want something done right, do it yourself. The only person you can depend on completely is going to be you, so be prepared to become a more independent individual.
  7. You’ll be reminded to put you first.Relationships involve sacrifices from both sides. But let’s say you invested a ton into yours (as in, you moved to another city, or even a different country, leaving your family and job behind just to be with him). Now what? Unfortunately, the only thing you really can do is pick yourself and the broken pieces of your life up, and start all over again. While it may seem like the end of the world here, it’s not. You can make the rest of your life work, and you will, by realizing your own life decisions matter just as much as anyone else’s.
Chelsey is a freelance writer in NYC. She's pretty normal by today's standards, or at least that's what her mother tells her.