I’ve learned to smell a guy’s “keeping it casual” BS coming from a mile away and I always walk away when I get the first whiff before I waste any more of my time. The last guy I was dating thought he was slick for trying to keep things casual, but I walked away, so who really won?
He would’ve been a terrible boyfriend anyway. I mean, that’s even assuming it even got to that point. Mean jokes aside, I ended up taking a good look at him and I had a sneaking suspicion that we’d already started off on the completely wrong note in the relationship. I think I could’ve only expected more of the same non-commital, half-hearted crap from that moment on. When a man thinks it’s okay to deceive a woman who’s interested in him, it’s a sign of only bad things to come.
I could see his Casanova tendencies from a mile away. So could all of my friends. As women, we’ve been through this exact situation so many times before that we just have a built-in radar for it now. It was clear he saw himself as super suave and able to get whoever he wanted with minimal effort. No thanks.
I just didn’t have time to deal with it. I was out there trying to find my future husband, okay? I had no time for a guy who showed me right off the bat that he could never fill that role. He might’ve been at a point in his life where all he wanted was something casual, but that just isn’t me. I want serious and secure and he couldn’t (or wouldn’t) give me that, so I had to dip.
I’d rather be single than deal with a player. Even if I was 45, had never been married, and was desperate not to die alone, I’d still rather be single than waste my time with a dude who wasn’t really in it for keeps. It never has been and never will be worth a minute of my time to let that negativity into my life. I’d rather live my entire life single than try to date a player.
Honestly, did he expect me to wait forever? I don’t know what guys like him think is going to happen in casual situations like this. Do they really think we’ll wait our entire lives for them to ask us to be official? Chances are, that’s going to be a strong “no” from us. If we’re not finding what we truly need with someone, we’ll be out of their lives soon and onto something better. That was certainly the case for me.
I still have my dignity. And I’m so glad I do. Even if I gained nothing from that experience, at least I still have my self-respect. I believe the second a man disrespects a woman and plays with her heart, he loses his credibility. Honestly, I’m not even entirely sure he deserved the title of a true man.
He thought he could play me for a fool. Let’s be real here for a second—he obviously thought I had no self-respect and that’s why he went for me. In reality, that couldn’t be more wrong. There’s a chance I could’ve come off that way, but appearances (as he should’ve known) are deceiving. I think he got the hint when he decided he didn’t want to commit and I walked away without hesitation.
I deserve someone who wouldn’t dream of hurting me. I’m serious. If you’re really into someone, playing “hard to get” never actually works. Instead, I believe there’s so much to say about simply showing the person you care and taking an actual interest in them. If he’s too immature or too much of a coward to approach a relationship genuinely and with the best intentions, he can GTFO.
My only hope is that it taught him a lesson. I hope somewhere along the way, he got the chance to redeem himself because I’m a huge believer in redemption. I’m just thankful for the fact that it wasn’t with me. It might’ve been after I left him or five women later when he finally realized what he was doing. If he did have a change of heart, I can only hope that it stuck.
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