If He Doesn’t Give A Damn About You, Give A Damn About Yourself & Walk Away

As much as I hate to admit it, the cliche is true: there really are plenty of fish in the sea. There’s literally zero excuse for hanging onto some dude who doesn’t give a damn about you when there are plenty of guys out there that will. You deserve at least that, and here’s why.

  1. You’re unique in all the world. You really are! There’s no one in this world like you. You’re one of a kind. Every part of you that was fortunate enough to fall together to create the you that you are is unique. There has never been another you and there will never be another you again. If that isn’t enough to prove to you that you deserve a guy who gives a damn, then I’ll proceed.
  2. You have a lot to offer. Even on the days when you feel defeated, lost, or confused about who you are and where you’re going, you still have a lot to offer. You have stories and jokes and anecdotes. You have your past that gave you character and your future that’s going to wow them all. You have kindness running through your bones and you’re passionate, compassionate, and empathetic. That’s a lot to offer any relationship, romantic or otherwise.
  3. You’re not some third-rate chump. And, in not being a third-rate chump, you shouldn’t to treated like a third-rate chump. You’re a first-rate woman and should be treated as such. You have to believe it and demand it in order to get it, so get on it.
  4. You’ve worked hard to be where you are. While you may not have achieved your ultimate goals in life just yet, you’ve still worked hard to be where you are. You’ve made concessions, put in the time, and no one would ever call you a slacker. As someone who is all these things and busted her butt to get to where she is, you completely deserve a guy who’s going to not just give a damn about you, but gives a damn about the fact that you’ve managed to accomplish the things you’ve accomplished so far in life.
  5. You respect yourself and deserve respect in return. If you truly, without hesitation, respect yourself, as I imagine you do, then you should be with a guy who respects you, too. A guy who doesn’t give a damn not only doesn’t respects you but probably doesn’t even know the definition of the word respect—which would make him an idiot, in addition to being an asshole.
  6. You don’t need your time wasted. The problem with guys (and people in general) is that they rarely change. If you’re waiting on some guy to finally learn how to give a damn, you’re wasting your time because fun fact: it’s never going to happen. No matter how fantastic you are, he’s never going to come around to give a damn because it’s simply not in his DNA. Don’t waste your time with nonsense. Your time is too precious for that BS.
  7. Your feelings are worth something. If you’re falling for or are already in love with someone who doesn’t give a damn, then take a long look in the mirror and promise yourself you’re going to end it. Your feelings are worth a lot. Your love should be given to someone who’s not only going to return it but treasure the love you give them. While a guy who doesn’t give a damn may say he loves you, if all his other actions are saying otherwise, then you know the words that come out of his mouth are just that: words. Words mean nothing without feelings.
  8. You always give 100%. Whether it’s in your professional life or your personal life, you give a 100% in everything you do. You do this because that’s just how you roll. People who don’t give a damn have no clue what it means to give 100 percent. If you give 100%, you should be with someone who also gives 100% and isn’t content to remain on the sidelines, twiddling their thumbs.
  9. You’re a total badass. Although you may not consider yourself a badass, you are. If you’re a woman in this society where the patriarchy reigns supreme (hopefully not for long), then you’re a badass. It’s not easy to be a woman in this world, so just the fact that you get out of bed every morning and fight the good fight of being part of a culture that doesn’t fully respect women makes you a badass.
  10. You give a damn. You give a damn about everything in your life because you prefer not to half-ass things. So, by that rationale, you deserve to be surrounded by people who also give a damn. If a guy doesn’t give a damn about you, then it’s not likely he gives a damn about other things in his life. Not giving a damn is, ultimately, a lack of passion. Who wants to be with someone who lacks passion for not just you, but for life? We should all be passionate about life because we only get one go at it.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.