He Finally Became The Perfect Boyfriend… After We Broke Up

My boyfriend was a nightmare to deal with and had a lot of growing up to do. However, in time, he did eventually become the perfect boyfriend. The only trouble is that by the time that happened, we’d already broken up. What a waste of time!

  1. By the time our relationship ended, I was fed up. We’d been dating for about seven months when I finally plucked up the courage to end our relationship. I was tired of feeling like I never made the cut as one of his main priorities. He’d always choose other people or things over me. I was so done and ready to forget about his toxic ways.
  2. He wanted to stay together. I knew when I told him that I wanted to end things that he wasn’t keen. He kept trying to hold things together and convince me to stay, but I held my own and walked away from him. I knew it was the right thing to do… I just didn’t expect that he’d up his game so much to get me back.
  3. He played the friends card. He said we had to be friends because he didn’t want the end of our relationship to end our friendship and I agreed. I thought maybe he’d be a better friend than boyfriend and that it would help him get used to us not being together romantically. Annoyingly, he had a hidden agenda.
  4. He wanted to hang out all the time. He would always be keen to take our texting conversations into the real world. He’d invite me to drinks and coffee on the regular, and once I even remarked to him that it was like we were spending more time together as friends than we ever had as a couple.
  5. I shot to the top of his priorities list. It was weird but he was still acting like my boyfriend at times. Not only was he always keen to see me (whereas as his girlfriend I sometimes felt like he expected me to convince him to hang out), but he was always considering me when it came to his decisions. For example, once when he was planning his birthday party, he ran everything past me first.
  6. Apparently, he suddenly realized how important I was to him. I reminded him that I wasn’t his girlfriend anymore and he unleashed this heartfelt speech about how losing me made me realize what he had. His comment really threw me for a loop. Suddenly, I started to wonder if maybe I’d made a mistake by walking away from him. He had obviously realized a lot because of our breakup. I couldn’t stop myself from wondering what it all meant and if he was keen to give things another shot.
  7. He made his move. One night he invited me out for dinner and I accepted. He told me that he wanted us to have a relationship again. He really laid it on thick, telling me that he loved me and realized where he’d gone wrong in our relationship and was willing to change to be the best boyfriend I deserved.
  8. I accepted but I really wish I hadn’t. The thing is, I was flattered by his words and I guess I really wanted to believe that they were true. If he had been this type of person when we’d been together the first time around, things would’ve been so much better for me.
  9. He was great at first. Once we resumed dating, he was his brand new self: attentive, kind, and making me feel like I was the most important person in his life. Sadly, it didn’t last!
  10. A few weeks later, his old self returned. After two weeks of dating, he dropped his guard. He stopped replying to my texts as often as he would and he stopped inviting me out regularly. He wasn’t the only one returning to his old relationship habits – I found myself having to be my old self too. For example, I had to chase him and make plans while he became lazy again. Ugh, I hated this!
  11. He clearly manipulated me. It took me some time, but when I finally removed my rose-tinted glasses and saw things for what they really were, I realized he’d only put on his Perfect Guy charade to trick me into taking him back. He hadn’t changed at all. He’d just changed his approach and it had worked on me. This time, I was wiser and I didn’t stay in our relationship for long. After another two weeks of trying to deal with him, I was out, and this time for good.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.