He Invited Me To Dinner Then Expected Me To Pay For Us Both—WTF?

I definitely don’t expect a guy I barely know to pay my way, but I do think that if he asks me out on a date and doesn’t plan to pick up the check, he should at least offer to cover his half. Not so with this one douchebag—he automatically assumed I’d put it all on my card.

  1. Our initial conversations had me looking forward to our first date. We had mutual friends in common and had spoken on the phone a number of times before our first date. It all seemed to be going so well. There was definitely a spark and I really enjoyed our conversations. There were no awkward silences, he asked insightful questions, and it all seemed so promising. He invited me out to dinner for our first date and I enthusiastically agreed.
  2. It all went wrong when the bill came. Up until that point, the date had gone well enough. It wasn’t great but it was at least pleasant. He ordered the most expensive steak on the menu and a full bottle of wine just for him. He even ordered dessert, so he clearly wasn’t in a rush to cut the date short. Then the bill arrived and he quite casually announced he was strapped for cash that week and thanked me for taking care of it! He didn’t even try to order something inexpensive—he actually went out of his way to get as much bang for my bucks as he could.
  3. It was the presumption that really annoyed me. It’s not that I wanted him to pay for me—that would have been nice since he invited me to dinner, but it definitely wasn’t a deal breaker. However, to presume that I was going to pay without even discussing it beforehand is just plain rude. Unacceptable, actually. Even the waitress seemed disgusted by his behavior, giving me a wide-eyed look of horror to show she understood what was happening.
  4. I should have just said no. I hate confrontation, so like a weak child, I just paid the bill and tried to get out of the restaurant as soon as possible. I’m sure he noticed the disgust on my face, but I really should have just said no, paid my share, and left him stranded at the table. Maybe having to pay his way through washing the dishes would have knocked some sense into him.
  5. It wouldn’t even be a big deal if he had told me in advance. I have no problem paying for a guy on a date; I like it when guys do it for me and I’m all for equality. If I really wanted to go on a date with someone but they had money issues, I’d more than happily pay for the two of us. Of course, I wouldn’t expect him to take advantage of me and order the most expensive items on the menu, but still! The fact that he didn’t even have the decency to be honest before the date was just too much for me.
  6. He even went in for a kiss afterward. Can you believe the gall of this guy? After making me pay for the whole shebang, he actually thought he had done well enough to deserve a kiss goodnight. Forget it, pal! I quickly turned to give him the cheek and through gritted teeth allowed his steak and wine-laden breath give me a peck. The last thing I wanted was to cause a scene.
  7. He didn’t understand why I wouldn’t date him again. After the date, he continued to call and text me even after I’d given him the silent treatment. Since I wouldn’t respond to him, he insanely decided the best option was to turn up on my doorstep unannounced. It was super awkward. I had friends over for drinks and he practically pushed me out of the way so he could join us. Have guys honestly forgotten how to date? None of this is OK. It’s a violation of my home and privacy. After that, I had to make it perfectly clear that his affections were unwelcome and he didn’t take it well. He thought I was being “harsh.” Insert eye roll here.
  8. I feel like I was used. Even though the conversation was good and he did seem to be having a good time aside from the free food, in the end, I just felt used for a free dinner. I started to wonder if that initial connection was just a play he used, like a pulling technique for freebies. Had he done this to other women? Were other girls cool with his brazenness? I didn’t plan on staying in touch to find out.
  9. Thankfully, I only wasted one evening. I’m just glad he tried it on the first date. I would have been super pissed if it was four or five dates in and I was more invested. Luckily, I only wasted one night of my time on this loser and I hope if he ever pulls this trick again, the next woman gives him the infernal wrath I should have shown him.
Originally from Northen Ireland, I love to travel and I'm currently based in Paris, France. I'm a full time freelance writer and designer for my brand K Alexandra and a self confessed Paris addict! There's nowhere I'd rather be than the city of light and love with my little Boston terrier always by my side. I adore fashion and keeping up with the latest trends as well as appreciating a perfectly made dirty martini at the end of a productive day!