While some studies have found that more than half of men have cheated, considering the fact that not everyone is going to be truthful about such an act, we may never have an exact percentage as to how many cheaters there really are. If he told you he loved you and then he cheated, there could be handful of possible reasons why.
Fear of commitment
Although it may be a sorry excuse, sometimes people cheat because of fear, especially a fear of commitment. It doesn’t matter how much they love you—if there’s any sort of fear, it can drive them to do things that break the mold of commitment, and straying is definitely one of those things.
Sexual dissatisfaction at home
It needs to be stated that sex and love are two completely different things. Because they aren’t the same and shouldn’t be seen as such, if someone’s sex life isn’t so great at home, no matter how much they may love you, there’s the chance of them looking for — and getting — sex elsewhere.
Stress can sometimes make people do wildly uncharacteristic things. Even if your partner is straight as an arrow and the last person in the world whom you think would cheat, if they’re really stressed by work obligations, cheating may be their way of acting out to deal with that stress. Sure, it won’t solve the stressful situation, but in the moment, it can feel like an escape from their daily lives so that’s why they do it.
Fear of missing out
While it may also be an annoying meme and hashtag, FOMO is a real thing. Especially for men of a certain age. If a guy is out with his single buddies and they’re all taking home a woman or going home with a woman, he might feel like he’s missing out on some aspect of life if he doesn’t follow suit. So naturally, he does what his buddies do, not thinking about how he (or you) might feel afterward.
Apparently, there’s actually a gene that makes some people more prone to cheating than others. But even if that weren’t the case, if someone grows up in a family where one (or both) of their parents cheated and cheated often, it’s difficult for them to understand just how detrimental it can be. This is most especially the case if their parents never separated or divorced because of the cheating. Staying together makes the behavior seem acceptable.
For some men who cheat, it just comes down to weakness. They’re somewhere and the opportunity to get laid by someone else arises and they go for it. As much as it hurts like hell, it’s not personal. It’s simply a man taking advantage of a situation he’s been presented.
If you’ve ever felt insecure, just take a look at guys. For all their pomp and circumstance, some men are quite insecure deep down. Insecure people need validation from others in order to feel complete and worthy. The attention of a someone who isn’t their partner can feed that insecurity, so going to bed with that woman can help them think they’re worthy.
While it may seem really immature, some guys do cheat out of revenge. Whether it’s because you cheated first or you disappointed him in some other way, he might seek revenge by sleeping with someone else. Granted, this creates a vicious circle, but when people are angry or hurt, they usually don’t think clearly.
Fear of getting older
Men, especially as they get older, cheat because they’re scared of the aging process. I’ve found that to be true in my relationships where men have cheated. For some men, cheating, which is proof of their virility (at least in their eyes), can feel like a way to hold onto their youth. This is also why some men tend to go for younger women. Of course, no one likes to get old, but men tend to have a deeper fear of it than women. Mostly because they have a deeper fear of everything in comparison to women.
“Love” is just a word
At the end of the day, actions speak louder than words. People say a lot of things but don’t necessarily mean them. While there are men who will cheat even if they’re in love, there are also men who say they love you but don’t really mean it because they don’t know what love is or they’re just saying it because it’s what you want to hear.
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