He Said “I Love You” But Does He Mean It? A Guy Reveals The Signs He’s Not Being Sincere

I once heard somewhere that saying “I love you” is easy but actually meaning it is the hard part. In principle, I couldn’t agree with this statement more. So how are you supposed to know whether he feels it deep down or he’s just paying you lip service? While some guys are not above lying about such things with their words, their actions always tell the truth. There are plenty of signs that you should be able to pick up on that can let you know just how much a guy cares about you.

  1. He only says it after you. Obviously, he’s probably going to say he loves you back if you say it first. It’d be super awkward if he didn’t and most guys will instinctually repeat it to avoid any drama. The problem is that he’s reacting rather than speaking from his feelings. That means you can’t necessarily trust that he means it. To be fair, if he does love you, he’ll also say it back if you say it first, so this sign isn’t completely foolproof. The test is whether a guy says “I love you” in a situation in which he’s not expected to say it. This can be a good way to measure his sincerity.
  2. He doesn’t make eye contact when he says it. Come on, how can he mean it if he can’t even make eye contact with you when he says “I love you”? Granted, if he’s super-shy or nervous, it might be tough for him to make the leap by saying the words while also looking directly into your eyes. However, if he seems calm and collected but still can’t look at you when he tells you he loves you, it’s fair to question whether or not he means it.
  3. He offers no affection. It’s not always about the words that are said, but the way that they’re said. It makes no sense for a guy to tell you he loves you for the first time without showing some other kind of affection. This isn’t so important later on when he starts saying it regularly, but in the beginning, there should be some kind of hug, kiss, or some form of deep affection when he utters those important words.
  4. He doesn’t smile. It might be a nervous smile, but he should be smiling in some way when he says he loves you. Otherwise, how can he possibly mean it? It doesn’t make sense for someone to angrily say it or say it with no emotion whatsoever. If he loves you, then just looking at you should make him smile, right? This seems pretty obvious. Of course, the one exception is if you’re in the heat of the moment/the throes of passion and smiling would be weird…
  5. It feels forced. Hopefully, you can tell when he’s forcing it because he thinks you want to hear it. The best way to say “I love you” is in a spontaneous way. It’s not planned or anything, he just blurts it out because he’s overwhelmed by his feelings. If he’s making too much of an effort to say it, he might be feeling obligated to say it, which isn’t what you want.
  6. He doesn’t spend quality time with you. As I said, actions always speak louder than words. His actions both before and after he says “I love you” should back up what he says. Is he making an effort to spend quality time with you? Does he seem to be happy and enjoying himself when he’s around you? If his actions aren’t backing up his words, he may be full of crap.
  7. He needs you to say it back. He shouldn’t have ulterior motives when he says “I love you.” He shouldn’t be saying it so that you say it. He should only be saying it because he means it and he wants you to know. If he actually tells you that you don’t have to say it back to him, then it’s a safe bet that he doesn’t have any ulterior motives and he really means it.
  8. He’s not nervous. If you’re not nervous when telling someone you love them for the first time, you’re not human. Of course, the caveat is that you don’t actually mean it. Most of the time, if he’s nervous around you, it’s a good thing. It usually means he cares about you and that his feelings are genuine. Otherwise, he’s probably just talking crap.
  9. He immediately pushes for sex. This definitely qualifies as an ulterior motive. A lot of guys with ill intentions know that saying “I love you” can lead to sex. This is a good example of a guy saying and doing anything to get you into bed. If you can sense him pushing hard to have sex right after saying “I love you,” he may have just been telling you what you want to hear.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.