He Wasn’t The One So I Slept With Him Right Away — Why Not?

Upon meeting this guy, I knew right away that he definitely wasn’t “The One.” However, the sexual chemistry between us was palpable, so I had sex with him sooner than I usually would have. Later on, I find out that he thought I was “cheap” for putting out too early and went so far as to call me a whore. What this dude didn’t realize is that I only put out because I knew it was never going to go beyond the bedroom. What this dude didn’t realize is that I only put out because I knew it was never going to go beyond the bedroom.

  1. I’m not going to waste sexual chemistry just because he’s not boyfriend material. We clicked but not in a romantic way and we both knew it. However, I’m not going to waste a perfectly good sexual connection just because I don’t see us having babies in five years. I would never get laid if that’s the kind of standard I held my sexual partners to. Why would he judge me for making the most out of a mediocre situation?
  2. We might as well have a little fun. Sex is fun for both men and women. I don’t feel like I’m “giving it away” and I don’t feel guilty about it either. Maybe he thinks I should feel bad about it for some reason but that’s all him. I didn’t feel an inkling of guilt for sleeping with this guy too quickly. In fact, I’m even proud of myself for pulling it off.
  3. He was just trying to flatter himself. I had sex with this guy as a final “farewell” thing, not because I’m desperate for a boyfriend or needed the attention. He’s so not the kinda guy I thought he was and instead of dropping him altogether, I figured we could have a sex sesh or two to at least get something out of it.
  4. Hello, it’s 2017. The last time I heard a guy say the word “whore” seriously was in 1999. Not only is it not appropriate to use that term anymore, I can guarantee he won’t be able to find one friend who would back him up on it. This is the age of women taking back their power and he’s way behind the times.
  5. Guys downgrade me to “sex friend only” all the time — why can’t I do it too? The second a woman starts using a guy for sex, she’s a whore but when a guy does it, he’s a hero. I don’t see myself as a whore, so what gives him the right to call me one? I believe that women can do anything men can, and making the decision to have sex is one of them.
  6. He’s just insecure. He feels bad that I’m not “chasing” him, so he claps back with this “whore” thing. He got the feeling that I didn’t want something more serious, and just like all the other girls who have shot him down in the past, I’m now one of them. The only difference is that I get to be a whore as well.  Yay.
  7. Women have needs too. I think this guy is confusing the reasons why I’m having sex with him. Guys tend to think that a woman puts out right away because she’s desperate or low-quality. Does he really think a “high quality” girl won’t have sex with a guy she doesn’t care about? Why do you think the term player exists?
  8. Speaking of players… he definitely is one. Maybe he’ll grow out of it one day or maybe that’s just the way he is. This guy needs to look in the mirror before he goes around calling girls names for behavior he’s participating in as well. He’s either willfully ignorant or just plain stupid for not recognizing this.
  9. No, I don’t want to tie down every guy I see. It’s a myth that every single girl is desperate for a husband. I accepted long ago that not every guy I go out with will be relationship material and I’m totally fine with it. If I get a sense that the guy I’m dating could be my boyfriend, I make him wait. If we don’t get along in that way, he’s demoted to one-night stand material. It’s as simple as that.
  10. Sometimes two people are just meant to have sex and move on. I don’t make the rules on who’s meant to be and who’s meant to be banged. We’re all special snowflakes and I’m not so naive to think that every guy I date is going to be “The One.” The only thing that’s in our destiny is sex. There’s no point in pretending we’re meant for anything else.
  11. He’s hot, I’m hot — why not? He’s not exactly what I had in mind, but man, he has a hot bod. It would’ve been a crime if we didn’t at least get naked for getting naked’s sake. I know he was attracted to me and yeah, I was attracted to him too, so why shouldn’t we have gone for it?
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.
close-link
close-link
close-link
close-link