Healthy Boundaries To Set In Your Relationship And Never Cross

You might want to be as close as possible with your partner, but that shouldn’t come at the expense of your own autonomy, dignity, and self-respect. No matter how solid your relationship appears to be, healthy boundaries are necessary to put in place and never let slide. If you’re unsure what this means or which boundaries are non-negotiable, here are a few to get you started. Feel free to add your own where appropriate!

Saying no sometimes

Just because you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you have to agree with them all the time or say yes to every request they make. You are allowed to say no. In fact, you’re even encouraged to sometimes — that’s what you call exercising one of your healthy relationship boundaries.

Taking time to yourself

Alone time is always important regardless of your relationship status, but it’s even more important when you’re part of a couple. You and your partner aren’t a single unit. Yes, you’re a team, but you’re still your own person and you need time to unwind, decompress, and refill your proverbial cup. It doesn’t matter what you do with that time – it’s yours any you have every right to take it.

Demanding respect

This is one of the most vital elements of any successful relationship. You cannot be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you, and why would they want to be with you if they didn’t in the first place? Your partner needs to respect your thoughts, feelings, opinions, and desires even if they don’t match their own. That’s the very least they can offer you.

Nurturing your life outside of the relationship

In addition to having plenty of alone time, another of those healthy relationship boundaries that are important to have in place is your commitment to your life outside of your relationship. That means continuing to pursue hobbies, to spend time with your family and friends, and simply to do your own thing. You don’t want to sacrifice the full life you had when you were single just because you happen to be in a relationship right now. If you do, what happens when it ends? You’ll be screwed.

Communicating your feelings, good or bad

It can sometimes be tempting in relationships to avoid rocking the boat or hurting your partner’s feelings by clamming up and not saying what you really think or feel. This is toxic and will undoubtedly backfire in the end when you become so resentful/angry/hurt/etc. that you explode. Speak about your feelings honestly and openly and encourage your partner to do the same. Your relationship will be better for it.

The freedom to dictate sexual boundaries

Again, you do not have to do anything you don’t want to do or are uncomfortable with for the sake of keeping your partner happy, shutting them up, or avoiding conflict. This is one of the most important on the long list of healthy relationship boundaries and should go without saying but it’s still worth mentioning here. Whether you don’t want to do a particular sex act or you simply don’t feel in the mood when your partner is horny, you have every right to say no.

Permission to change your mind

Yes, you might have said you were okay with something last week but this time around, it doesn’t feel right. That’s your prerogative. You’re allowed to change your mind, even if it annoys or angers your partner. Don’t apologize for it or feel bad.

Having your needs met

You have the right to demand that your needs are met in a relationship. While you can’t expect your partner to meet every need you have in life, there are certain things partners should be happy or willing to do to ensure you feel loved, appreciated, and cared for. If that’s not happening, you owe it to yourself to get out as soon as possible.

Asserting a right to privacy

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you give up your right to privacy. You are allowed to have conversations with friends and family members that your partner isn’t privvy to. You’re allowed to talk to other people, go other places, and live your life without reporting every last minute of your day to your partner. If they don’t like it, they’re too controlling and it’s never going to work.

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