I’ve Had My Heart Broken Too Many Times—Here’s What The Next Guy Needs To Know

I’m a woman who’s had her heart broken time and time again and to many, it might seem like I’m damaged goods. But before you judge me or assume that I’m not worth investing in, here’s what you really need to know about loving me.

1. I’m cautious for good reasons. I’ve been chewed up and spat out by guys who weren’t right for me plenty, so forgive me if I’m not easy to read or seem more guarded because I have every reason to be. The depth of the pain that I’ve felt is worn on my sleeve like armor, carefully protecting the heart I used to wear there so freely. You may be frustrated at the patience it takes to get through my layers, but be assured that beneath the battle shield, I am a woman with a lot to offer.
2. I’ve become intuitive and wise to toxic guys. I’m no stranger to guys who know how to use all the right lines and make all the right moves to break down my vulnerabilities. If you want to stay in my good graces and avoid raising any red flags, your best bet is to just be yourself and not the guy you think I and every other rom-com-loving woman want you to be. I want someone raw and real and I won’t accept anything less.
3. I notice the details, good and bad. If you suddenly ignore my texts as if I’m not a priority, I’ll notice immediately and react accordingly. It’s not that I’m punishing you for every small mishap, it’s just that I’ve been in this situation before and it’s never ended well. On the plus side, if you do truly care for me and your intentions are good, I’ll also take notice when you check in to see how I’m doing when you know I had a tough client meeting that day or offer to comfort me when I’m sick with the flu. To me, these little things mean the most and they stand out in a big way.
4. I hold a lot in. Because I’m guarded, I’ll hold back on sharing a lot of emotion and personal details until I know you’re a safe place to vent and share. Letting someone in after the heartache I’ve experienced makes me feel exposed, and until I know you’re into me for the right reasons, I’ll keep my cards close to my chest.
5. Kindness is everything to me. It’s not just the way you treat me, it’s the way you treat everyone around me, from the server at the restaurant to your own flesh and blood. Your personal demeanor and character is what will carefully win me over, so if you’re rude and demanding or constantly complain about your loved ones and coworkers, chances are I’m not going to stick around long. I have zero tolerance for toxic behavior.
6. I want to trust you, but sometimes my fear takes over. Even if you’ve assured me that your feelings for me are genuine, trust is a hard thing to have and instill in another person. You might think it should be a given until you’ve proven yourself unworthy, but the thing about me is that it was my trusting nature in the past that lead to me being deeply and devastatingly hurt. The best way to show me you mean what you say is to stay consistent and never give me a reason to question your feelings. The moment you pull any shady stuff, it’s game over for me.
7. I have every intention of taking things slowly but my heart takes over. Each time I get into a new relationship, I intend to proceed with caution, but sometimes my romantic heart overpowers my reasoning. I might feel overwhelmed at how much I genuinely care for you and it can exacerbate my fears even more, causing me to spin out and become paranoid. It’s not permanent, so stick with me.
8. I have a lot to offer to the guy who deserves it. Once I fall and trust the guy in my life, something shifts inside of me and I open up into the completely loving and caring partner I’m destined to be. I’m a woman who has my life together because I had to learn how to survive without the constant companionship of a guy. I’m not a serial dater and I’m not the woman who needs someone to complete me; I’m the woman who became strong because of the BS I went through and I’m ready for a guy who deserves me.
9. I’ve experienced the worst yet I’m still hoping for the best. I’m genuinely proud of my ability to have been crushed by love over and over again and still be willing to embark on the possibility of love all over again. It makes me brave, not desperate. Sure, I may be guarded but I’m honest about what I want and I know that real love is absolutely worth the risk.
10. I’m worth every bit of effort. I’m not going to be the easiest woman to be with and earning my love won’t be an easy task, but I promise that everything I encompass beyond the heartache of my past is absolutely worth the extra effort and patience. I’ve been saving the best love for last all this time and if you’re lucky enough and have pure intentions at heart, you could be the guy I finally break down those walls permanently for.