Heartbreak’s In Your Past, So Why Are You Letting It Control Your Future?

Heartbreak’s In Your Past, So Why Are You Letting It Control Your Future? ©iStock/lechatnoir

Heartbreak can hurt so badly that it literally feels like it’ll kill you. It won’t, but it’s still a feeling you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. Despite the pain, you’re still here, but you’re finding it hard not to be cynical and discouraged about love. However, the heartbreak is in your past, so why are you letting it control your future?

  1. If you don’t learn from your mistakes, you’re doomed to repeat them. Instead of experiencing your heartbreak, you’re shoving it aside like the relationship never even happened. The only way to overcome your fears though is to face them. Stop hiding from your past and start learning from it.
  2. You miss out on 100% of the guys you won’t give a chance. If you really want to find love, then you have to at least give guys a shot. You’ve been burned before and you probably will again, but eventually you’ll find the one guy who will never hurt you. All you have to do is believe he’s worth the risk.
  3. Not all guys are the same. So why are you lumping them all together? You let one bad egg ruin the bunch and sabotage your love life. That’s no way to live. Not every guy is a loser, just like not every girl is a crazy bitch. Don’t let your ex represent the entire male population. The guy at the bar didn’t hurt you. Your ex did, so make sure you’re holding the right guy responsible, not every guy.
  4. If you can’t let go, you’ll never move on. The truth is you want to move forward, but you don’t know how to let go of the past. The longer you hold onto that hurt and anger, the longer it will take you to move on. It’s not easy to get over heartbreak, but that doesn’t mean you can just put it off. It’s a heavy task, but you have to let go of what happened to move on to what could be.
  5. You’re giving your ex way too much power. Don’t let him win. He may have broken your heart, but you shouldn’t let him keep you from ever loving again. You’ll never be able to take back the years you dedicated to that crappy relationship, but don’t let him waste any more of your time. He broke your heart but he didn’t break you, so show him and yourself that you have the strength to move on.
  6. If you survived it once, you could survive it again. That breakup almost killed you, but in the end, you survived and you’re stronger because of it. You have to stop looking at the fact that your love failed as a weakness. You have an opportunity here to find strength in your heartbreak. Don’t be afraid of your vulnerability. You should never be ashamed of the fact that you truly love someone. Know that even if it doesn’t last, it would be worth it to love again.
  7. If you never find new love, you’ll always be heartbroken. If you’re happy being single and are perfectly fine going home to yourself for the rest of your life, then you wouldn’t be reading this article. You’re so afraid of getting hurt again that you refuse to open yourself up to someone new. Every day you chicken out on love, and every day you break your own heart over and over again. You deserve better.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.